Friday, 17 October 2008

This Wild Love

As I travelled back into London I was bringing the dislocated parts of myself together. Where would I find my Secret Garden in this city?

I arrive to the grand Arch and gateway of Paddington train Station. Made of metal, stone, wood. Fuelled with water and fire filled with sweat, steam and burning coal.

I remember my lost garden where upon plunging my hands into the black earth I was stung by a sleeping bumble bee. The devil had stolen my hands and I longed to feel the earth in my hands. Smell the soil under my nails seeking the crevasses, lines, creases, cracks and sores.

I smile to myself as I wish to find another platform 9 and 3/4. Perhaps if I squeeze myself small. Bound tight forgetting my full woman's body with her feet size 8 and her hands full and hairy [if seen on certain nights if lucky!] I say to myself ~ No that won't work. Never did work. Trying to believe those false words that pushed my skin and bones into a shape convenient. Manageable and tamed. Hair neatly shaved, cut, bleached and trimmed. A wild mad woman me...nah...that wasn't me....

I walk the concrete and stone ground unaware of whose bones lie underneath my feet. The skulls buried that once held life flowing with moment after moment after.

I remember the caresses of my lost love. As his fingers traced my contours that tracked pathways inside this heavy head.

The landscape of London constantly changing. Buildings going replaced with new. But the roads, streets, paths, lanes remain the same. They follow the same map. They keep the same names.

I feel lost. Landmarks holding memories going. A city of ghosts.

Yesterday I walked paths with a new friend - paths thick from shared laughter, tears, arguments, hello's and goodbyes, screams of joy and sorrow, songs sung with gusto from bellies full and strained from throats torn with liquid fire.

We walk over the bridge from the north to south. Deep in conversation. My words building hands lost to the devil.
My words grow to a new rhythm. My words build life. Creeping, running, stamping, tip toeing, jumping, leaping, crawling over the eyes, ears, mouth of London.

As I write this a group of young men/boys and women/girls are screaming, shouting and running, some with bikes, some with hoods up have chosen to bang my dustbin. It is an old style metal dustbin bright shiny and new and makes a wonderful loud sound. Crashing into the night. They have sharpened the sleepy dark night and man lit street. They reclaim this street as their own. The darkness creeping closer.

In their screams I hear a desire and longing to share the excitement of being alive. Bare and naked. No wonder ~ I think ~ they sometimes hide their faces. Theirs is a sound of hope. Singing with tongues that don't lie. The river runs loud in their veins. Some may call this ugly but I call this beauty. This wild love. These are forked tongues that cannot lie.

Now the street is empty and quiet. I understand the desire to walk bare foot in the city.

Saturday, 4 October 2008

The Black Sun

Adam McLean via

"We all have the capacity to experience the numinous, that which connects us with transcendent dimensions of reality that are beyond the ego and ordinary states of consciousness. When we are stuck in any arene of life, we can tap into inner realms that may guide us toward change and growth, toward new adaptations that are life serving, even life saving at times. These realms may include experience of the chthonic regions of the alchemists, of all world religions, and of the pagan dieties. And certainly not all contact with the numinous is pleasant or easy. For in contact with the numinous we encounter the opposites as well ~ the heavenly and hellish, the celestial and demonic, inner darkness, and processes of enlightenment. With such experience of the numinous may come activation in the psyche of unique guiding and protecting forces. Then we have the chance of discovering a fruitful relationship with psyche and psychoid. As we learn the way of the religious or transcendent function, life's very crises can bring us toward renewal.
Authentic relationship with darkness and unknowing usually brings about a shamanic death (the alchemical nigredo). It is not for the faint~hearted, and it's way beyond the ego's fantasies, attachments, or ideas of grandeur. It includes experiences of 'hell', as well as 'heaven', as we attempt to find optimal relationship with the flame. Jung found that a victory for the Self always included a defeat for the ego, an experience we are sure to have is seeking alchemical renewal.
Relating with this part of the psyche usually means that we must encounter feeling lost, bereft, or simply unable to go on the way we have been living. If we turn toward the psyche and psychoid during these spiritual crisis, we may find honest, humble way to discover this source of renewal. Crisis contains a fire capable of clearing the attitudes that blind us to mysteries, if we will but allow the reality of our inner death to the old ways. The dark night of the soul may then bring us into contact with the inner light that expands our mortal lives through connection with the eternal essence dwelling in each of us.
The need to be in contact with mystery, unknowningness, and darkness is as crucial to the soul's life as any gains in consciousness. What are gains in consciousness worth if we lose our rooting in the chaotic unknown, the erotic wilderness of the psyche that brings renewal of consciousness in the first place? Without experiential roots in the wilderness of psyche, we lose connection with the original living spirit that is the healer, the uniter of opposites of which Jung and the alchemists spoke."
Pregnant Darkness ~ Alchemy and the Rebirth of Consciousness by Monika Wikman. p xix~xx

Tuesday, 30 September 2008

Warning - When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple

After I had a day full and lost my cool a dear friend of mine said I had experienced a 'purple moment' and 'good on me'. I hadn't heard of the poem which she was referring to. So just in case others haven't also had the pleasure....

Warning - When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple
By Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
and satin candles, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired
and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
and run my stick along the public railings
and make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
and pick the flowers in other people's gardens
and learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
and eat three pounds of sausages at a go
or only bread and pickles for a week
and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
and pay our rent and not swear in the street
and set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

Key of Life

The light in action Lucifer is the god of progress and intellectual enquiry, not only divine inspiration behind the spiritual enlightenment of the Gnostic and the heretic and the lover of God in all his/her forms: it was through Lucifer's spirit that humanity first climbed down from the trees and has represented the flow of progress ever since. But Lucifer may be more than a metaphor for rebellion, enlightenment and advancement ~ as the pure creative and motive light s/he may actually be the key to life itself....
Over the past fifteen years scientists, largely in Europe and Asia, have made a major discovery. The DNA with the nuclei of all cells of living creatures contains biophotons or ultra-weak proton emissions ~ in other words, Light. While it is invisible to the naked eye, it can be detected using new equipment developed by German scientists.
As a German science writer Marco Bischof declares in his ground-breaking ' Biophotons - The Light in the Cells [1995]: ' A dynamic web of light constantly released and absorbed by the DNA may connect cells, tissues and organs and serve as the organism's main communication network and as the principle regulating instance of all life processes'. He suggests that 'the holographic biophoton field of the brain and nervous system, and maybe even that of the whole organism, may also be the basis of memory and other phenomena of consciousness'"
The Secret History of Lucifer by Lynn Picknett.

"Imaginatio Vera: True Imagination, the Star in the Human Being,..writes Maurice Aniane..."actually 'sees' the 'subtle' processes of nature and their angelic prototypes. It is the capacity to reproduce in oneself the cosmogenic unfolding, the permanent creation of the world in the sense in which all creation, finally, is only a Divine Imagination'...
Alchemy is thus religion under the sign of cosmology. More than that, it is experimental religion ~ a path of the empirical realization. Simply put, it is the sacred science of the realization and enhancement of the subtle states of the human being and the universe, inner and outer, where these are seen as not-tow/not-one ~ unified, reflecting each other, corresponding to each other at each point, perhaps distinguishable, but certainly not separable ~ just as subject and object, knower and known are inseparably one in the non-dual state which is the source of both. Thus, there is an axis of non-dual light that unites the universe and connects the human being and nature with the source of all."
Green Hermeticism by P Wilson, C Bamford, K Townley.

Monday, 1 September 2008

Star Finder

You help me to remember:

No distinction existed between interior and exterior, subject and object, friend and stranger. Heaven and Earth, the living and the dead, together with angels and elemental spirits, were one world, one cosmos. Human beings were still predominantly heavenly beings, woven into, and part of, the great symphonic stream of creation. The world, the cosmos. Matter, too, was music: sounding light.

Green Hermeticism ~ Alchemy and Ecology by P Wilson, C Bamford, K Townley.

Thursday, 28 August 2008


Peacock God ~ Star Goddess
The union
In The beginning
The Ending
Flowing from ~ to the fountain
Orgasm of life
See with his eyes ~ Star Goddess


Silver Fox

Tuesday, 19 August 2008

Guardian of the Earth

And he took me and led me where the sun goes forth, and he showed me a chariot and four, under which burnt a fire, and in the chariot sat a man, wearing a crown of fire, and the chariot was drawn by forty angels. And behold a bird circling before the sun, about nine cubits away. And I said to the angel, 'What is this bird?' And he said to me, 'This is the guardian of the earth' And I said, 'Lord, how is he the guardian of the earth? Teach me'.

And the angel said to me, 'This bird flies alongside of the sun, and spreading his wings receives its fiery rays. If he were not to receive them, neither human beings nor any other living creatures would be perserved. God appointed the bird this task'.

From The Apocrypha and Pseudeipgrapha of the Old Testament by R. H. Charles, vol. II , Oxford Press

Saturday, 16 August 2008


The Eye and the Lip

'The Secret Rose Garden; Part 1 The Perfect Face of the Beloved, The Eye and the Lip ~ Mahmud Shabistari"

What is the nature of the eye and lip?....

Coquettish and intoxicating glances shine from His eye.
The essence of existence issues from His ruby lip.
Hearts burn with desire because of His eye,
we are healed again by the smile of His lip....

Friday, 15 August 2008


Sunset by Kate Bush in Aeriel
Could be honeycomb
In a sea of honey
Whose shadow, long and low
Is slipping out of wet clothes?
And changes into
The most beautiful
Iridescent blue
Who knows who wrote the song of Summer
That blackbirds sing at dusk
This is a song of colour
Where sands sing in crimson, red and rust
Then climb into bed and turn to dust
Every sleepy light
Must say goodbye
To the day before it dies
In a sea of honey
A sky of honey
Keeps us close to your heart
So if the skies turn dark
We may live on in
Comets and stars


one mans dream

Thursday, 14 August 2008

According to Leviticus

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispensed advice to people who called in to her radio show. She said that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.
The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by an east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
A] When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
B] I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
C] I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
D] Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
E] I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
F] A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?
G] Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
H] Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I] I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
J] My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16.
Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

Tuesday, 5 August 2008


"We worshipped the Consort of the Goddess. We did not worship him because it was necessary but because she brought him forth out of her divine lust. Our worship of him was an act of love. Although the Goddess tells us that away from the sweet influence of her love, he is the most terrible of all spirits, he is not the fallen angel or "Satan" of Christianity or Islam. The name Setan (the vowels pronounced as in Italian) is one of his names but has nothing to do with the Christians' name of their fallen angel: It means soul fire. He is the same God as Ja or El."
Victor Anderson, August 1991 open letter to Llewellyn publishers.


"The lion in alchemy is the primitive, untransmuted form of the alchemical gold. The processes of the opus transform it into the reborn filius philosophorum, the goal of the work. This image from Lambsprinck’s De lapide philosophica (1625) portrays the lion and lioness as the male and female sides of the primal substance. "
"In the Desire, is the Original of Darkness; and in the Fire, the Eternall Unity is made manifest with the Light, in the Fiery Nature"
Jacob Boehme - The Key translated by William Law

Shakti ~ Power

As a force in the universe, shakti powers everything, from the planets in their orbit to the radiant power of the sun...from the smallest atom to the grandest galaxy. Any kind of force, power, or influence has its genesis in shakti, and shakti is feminine in nature....
We know, for example, that an entire oak tress, twig and trunk, the oak tree exists in a dormant state in the acorn. But through the application of energy acting through time, the tree unfolds from its dormant state. The sublime, alchemical process of photosynthesis blends the energies of the sunlight, water and the mineral into a growth process that produces a gigantic tree from the tiny humble acrorn. We know that applying these same energies to a rock will not achieve the same result. It is only because the oak tree is already within the acorn in some form that such a transformation from seed to tree is possible.
Similarily, it is only because the Goddess exists in all of us that it is possible to exhibit her attributes and powers."
Shakti Mantras ~ by Thomas Ashley-Farrand

Eyed Hawk Moth caterpillar crossed my path

"This is a spectacular hawk-moth, with curving wing margins and large blue and black eye patches on the rear wings, which have pink bases. These eye spots can only be seen when the moth is disturbed, when it flashes them.
The moths are usually flying between May and July.
The caterpillars feeds on willow, aspen, apple and rarely poplar and are found from about late June to September, feeding mainly at night.
They grow up to 7. 5cm long, are bluish-green with whitish oblique stripes on the side, each of these stripes often having a red dot on a spiracle near the base.
The caterpillars have a blue 'horn' at one end which distinguishes them from the otherwise similar larva of the poplar hawk-moth.
This moth is found throughout England, but it is rare in the northernmost counties."

Sunday, 6 July 2008


Lasch argues that every age has its own forms of mental illness which simply mirror, in exaggerated form, the basic characteristics of that age. In Freud’s time the dominant mental illness was hysteria and obsession neurosis. These writes Lasch, ‘carried to extremes the personality traits associated with the capitalist order at an earlier stage in its development – acquisitiveness, fanatical devotion to work and a fierce repression of sexuality’. In our age, by contrast, the dominant illnesses have been schizophrenia and ‘borderline’ personality disorders. These, he writes, seem to signify a societal change from inner-direction to narcissism. According to Lasch, narcissism and its traits – pansexuality, hypochondria, corruptibility, shallowness, the inability to mourn – are simply the best way of coping with warlike social environment where friendships and family life are hard to sustain, where relationships are shallow, where there is no sense of historical continuity, and where consumption and glamour are emphasised.

Extract from Drawing Down the Moon - by Margot Adler

Saturday, 5 July 2008

Courageous Dreaming ~ Alberto Villoldo

"Whether we realize it or not, we are all dreaming the world into being. What we're engaging in is not the sleeping act we're so familiar with, but rather a type of dreaming we do with our eyes open. When we're unaware that we share the power to co-create reality with the universe itself, that power slips away from us, causing our dream to become a nightmare. We begin to feel we're the victims of an unknown and frightening creation that we're unable to influence, and events seem to control and trap us. That only way to end this dreadful reality is to awaken to the fact that it too is a dream - and then recognize our ability to write a better story, one that the universe will work with us to manifest"
"The Earthkeepers I have studied with in the Andes and the Amazon believe that we can only access the power of this force by raising our level of consciousness. When we do, we become aware that we're like a drop of water in a vast, divine ocean, distinct yet immersed in something much larger than ourselves. It's only when we experience our connection to infinity that we're able to dream powerfully"
"It takes courage to taste infinity. According to Greek mythology, the gods swiftly punished any mortal who dared to ascend Mount Olympus and taste divine power. Yet they ultimately rewarded those who had the courage to step into the realm, such as Hercules and Psyche. Similarily, in Judeo-Christian lore, as soon as Adam and Eve disobeyed God and ate the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, making human beings more like God, He threw them out of the Garden of Eden, 'lest {humankind} put forth {their} hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever' {Gen, 3:22}. But despite this original sin of humanity, all men and women are promised a chance to dwell in heaven at the end of time."

Wednesday, 2 July 2008

Peace Mala

On my break to visit my friend in Wales I met a delightful young man who was selling Peace Mala's - since buying one I have been wearing it at work. So it has been wonderful to have received comments and enquiries from work collegues asking what it is adding that they have got the feeling/experience from the Mala of their spirits being lifted and feeling happy. Which is extraordinary given that they haven't known whether it was just a 'fashion' bracelet and didn't know the intention of the bracelet.
So I am hoping that through my connections with schools I can promote the Peace Mala.
This is the web site for the Peace Mala :o)

"The Peace Mala cuts through all forms of prejudice and celebrates what makes us different from each other. It is a vision for the future. Wearing the mala is a promise to help create a better world"

Monday, 30 June 2008

Long Journey Home

Crazy dancing in my heart
Stone shoes beat

Hill sipping Sun
Golden light
transluscent on pricked up ears
I catch a hare on the run

Clouds hang in the sky

As memory holds
Cold eye of fish caught on the plate

silver fox

Monday, 19 May 2008

Overheard on a Saltmarsh

Overheard on a Saltmarsh by Harold Monro

Nymph, nymph, what are your beads?

Green glass, goblin. Why do you stare at them?

Give them me.


Give them me. Give them me.


Then I will howl all night in the reeds,
Lie in the mud and howl for them.

Goblin, Why do you love them so?

They are better than stars or water,
Better than voices of winds that sing,
Better than any man's fair daughter,
Your green glass beads on a silver ring.

Hush, I stole them out of the moon.

Give me your beads, I want them.

I will howl in a deep lagoon
For your green glass beads, I love them so.
Give them me. Give them me.




(Written for Lucifer)
VOL 1. London, October 15th 1887, No2 from 'LUCIFER - A Theosophical Magazine edited by Madam Blavatsky and Mabel Collins

STar of the Day and the Night!
Star of the Dark that is dying;
Star of the Dawn that is nighing,
Lucifer, Lady of Light!

Still with the purest in white,
Still art thou Queen of Seven;
Thou hast not fallen from Heaven
Lucifer, Lady of Light!

How large in thy lustre, how bright
The beauty of promise thou wearest!
The message of Morning thou bearest,
Lucifer, Lady of Light!

Aid us in putting to flight
The Shadows that darken about us,
Illumine within, as without, us,
Lucifer, Lady of Light!

Shine through the thick of our fight;
Open the eyes of the sleeping;
Dry up the tears of the weeping,
Lucifer, Lady of Light!

Purge with thy pureness our sight,
Thou light of the lost ones who love us,
Thou lamp of the Leader above us,
Lucifer, Lady of Light!

With the flame of thy radiance smite
The clouds that are veiling the vision
Of Woman's millennial mission,
Lucifer, Lady of Light!

Shine in the Depth and the Height,
And show us the treasures olden
Of wisdom, the hidden, the golden,
Lucifer, Lady of Light!

Gerald Massey

Vol 1, London, January 15th, 1888, No 5, Lucifer: A Theosophical Magazine edited by H. P. Blavatsky and Mabel Collins

Lucifer, Lucifer, Son of the Morning,
Trembling and fair on the opening skies,
Heralding, truly, a day that is dawning,
Telling the 'Light of the World' shall arise.

Lucifer, Lucifer, all through the Ages
Weary hearts struggled and watched for the light,
Now it is coming, and thou the forerunner,
Mystical prophet, the herald of Right.

There in the desert of Night where thou dwellest,
Round thee in myriads the feebler lights stand;
Lucifer, Lucifer, ever thou tallest
The glorious Kingdom of Right is at hand.

Rising and setting, O, Star of the Morning!
Strangely prophetic, thou atom of light;
Revealing in silence the law of creation.
Out from the unseen abyss of the night,

Into the world where the stars, sympathetic,
Seem to be fraught with a pulsating breath;
Brilliant, yet shining like tear-drops pathetic,
But sinking at last in oblivion of death!

Sinking, but wrapped in the shroud of the Morning,
Folded in splendour as light shall arise;
Lucifer, herald of Truth that is dawning,
Ride through thy glorious pathway, the skies!

Soon in the east, with a splendour triumphant,
Morning shall break like a great altar-fire,
Ignorance, darkness, and gross superstition,
Shall melt in its beams, and in silence expire!

Helen Fagg

Wednesday, 16 April 2008

Heart of Bumble Bee

The Bumble Bee
Unlike the honeybee, the bumblebee usually has fewer individuals in its colony. They do not store large amounts of honey like the honeybee does. Bumblebees are one of the few insects that can control their body temperature. In cold weather the queen and her workers can shiver their flight muscles to warm themselves allowing them to fly and work at lower temperatures than most other insects. Their large size and hairy coat also helps to keep them warm.
Yogi masters have been known to quiet their heartbeat and adjust their body temperatures when in an altered state. This skill is linked to the ancient initiations of mastering the body, mind and spirit. Those with this totem usually have strong past life ties connected to the ancient secrets of longevity and can benefit from the study and practice of yoga. They also make good hypnotherapists.
All bees are productive. They remain focused in their activities and do not get distracted from their goal. Their legs are one of their most sensitive organs. A bee actually tastes through its legs and reminds us to slow down, smell the roses and taste the sweet nectar of life. Hypoglycemia and diabetes can sometimes occur in those who carry this medicine. Therefore daily exercise and good nutrition is advised.
The bumblebee carries the power of service. They are important pollinators of many plants. As a bee lands upon one flower, collecting its nectar, pollen also attaches itself to the leg fibers. It is then transferred to other flowers, creating a fertilization process. Their movement from one plant to another symbolizes the interconnectedness of all living things. The bumblebee is a messenger that holds the secrets of life and service.
If your energy is scattered the bumblebee can show you how to regain focus. If it stings you, it is saying, wake up and follow the rhythm of your own heartbeat. When a bumblebee buzzes you it is asking you to follow its lead. In so doing you will arrive at the destination most appropriate for your new life awakening.

Bee Totem…
Fertility and the Honey of Life,Accomplishing the Impossible
Bees are the symbol of fertility and sexuality.Its honeycomb, a hexagon, is the symbol of the heart andrepresents the sweetness of life found within our own heart.It is also the symbol of the sun and all its energies.
The bee reminds us to extract the honey of lifeand to make our lives fertile (productive) while the sun shines.No matter how great the dream is, there is the promise of fulfillmentif we pursue our dreams.
If a Bee has shown up in your life, examine your own productivity.Are you doing all you can to make your life more fertile?Are you busy enough?Are you making time to savor the honey of life and not becoming a workaholic?
The Bee is the symbol of accomplishing the impossible.Aerodynamically, its body is too large for its wings and should not be able to fly.Although now we understand how it does fly (high rate of wing movement),the Bee remains a symbol of accomplishing anything you put your mind to
In Hinduism, the Bee relates to Vishnu, Krishna or Kama, the God of Love.In Egypt, the Bee symbolized royalty.In Greece, it was the symbol of the Eleusinian Mysteries.The Celts associated the Bee with hidden wisdom

Bee Totem…
Bee shows us we can accomplish what seems impossible by having dedication and working hard. It asks us to pursue our dreams with incredible focus and fertilize our aspirations. Bee teaches us to cooperate with others who have similar goals so we can learn how to help each other.

Bee - The bee is the messanger of the gods. If he comes buzzing into your life, take note. You may be receiving a message from Spirit. Alternately, you could be getting a message to do a little less and just be still for awhile! When we take the time to just be, we clear our minds to receive divine guidance.

Monday, 25 February 2008

Carbon Trading

I went to a film showing which highlighted the consequences of Carbon Trading. How capitalism has made pollution a commodity to trade and how companies are selling off their pollution to others who then can sell it off again, meanwhile still polluting. And all this is being done in the name of the Kyoto agreement. Insane.Here is the link for the film [ it is 40minutes long] on the web page 'The Carbon Connection' The film is grass roots with small communities linking with one another. The film can also be purchased for free to use for public events/raise awareness/action/education etc.I have also added a link to the Guardian Article by Terry Slavin who highlights the issue of BP. I must confess that I have been ignorant of the details/specifics of Carbon Trading. I have heard and read about the Kyoto agreement - including Mr Bush's refusal to sign up. However, according to articles like Terry's and the film, Mr Bush has missed a trick.

Tuesday, 19 February 2008

Spell of the Sensuous

"There was a time when humans spoke with the voice of the Earth. Our ancestors’ senses were alert to messages coming to them from the wild world of nature. They were immersed in meanings—meanings that resonated in their own flesh" ~
review of The Spell of the Senuous' ~ David Abram ~ by Christian de Quincey ref:

Blessings to the bumble bee

Woke in morning in our evolving home
Camping inside with a log burning fire,
breath solidifying in the merging morning.

Tip toe in dust laden crazy paved floor into maze of wire snakes and ladders.
I feel an emerging presence stirring by my naked toes.
A giant thunder in still tiny translucent wings,
small round and furry with black many eyed face stirred by the sun.
Legs swimming.

With heart pounding ~ into my hand I scoop,
fearful of a burning sting I run,
to a crisp golden sheltered spot,
placing down into ash and fallen leaves.

Two days of frost follow.
I find the Bee,
silent and cold.
Blessings to the bumble bee

Tuesday, 12 February 2008

Wheels Turning

Yesterday I was on the underground and a man with a huge rucksack and a bulging coat, long hair bustled onto the carriage. The train was delayed and he stuck his head out of the carriage and shouted 'When you are ready driver!' ~shortly after the train pulled out and he exclaiming 'always works!’ This man had his back to the main carriage and proceeded to light a cigarette after which smoking he threw down by the door and extinguished by pouring a canned drink onto it. I studied this man and never saw his face. His clothes were well kept and washed. However, he was I decided an outsider. Why? And this thought troubled me. As soon as I had thought it I thanked him for being.
'The Faery Teachings' by Orion Foxwood. Here I quote:
'To truly look into who we are means to delve into the 'River of Blood', that deep ancestral wellspring within us that contains the voices of our bloodline and all that we have experienced in our journeys through flesh, form and the inner worlds. Deeper and deeper we go, passing through the layers of voices within us until we approach the 'voice of one' {R.J Stewart} the 'voice that utters creation' that speaks of 'who we truly are'. In this journey we discover the living community that comprises our physical forms and that lives within our blood. For indeed our bodies, our blood and our life walk are sacred ~ and everything matters. We are, as we will explore in the following chapters, living communities within ourselves.
In the quest for an answer to the first question {who am I}, we discover our hardships and difficulties are the vice which presses the coal of thy potential to the diamond of thy becoming. Again, everything matters. A crucial aspect to answering this question is to understand that 'we see the world from where we stand'.

I am left still wanting to have seen that man on the underground face...what curiosity would have been quenched? What judgments might I have made? I remember reading Luisah Teish Jambalaya in which she wrote about Spirits ~ those who walk the edge and that it is important to take note of what message these Spirits might be saying. I remember her saying they can look very convincing as alive human! Which interestingly Orion Foxwood speaks about in his book and how important it is to ask beings who appear who they are as sometimes the Fey can take the guise of our imagination or our lost beloved.
This seems to me so obvious but I do not recollect actually checking this. Asking. Seems to me this would be a useful fundamental tool for anyone working with Spirit. As would checking intention.
As for the man on the train. What was his intention. For me though he was walking the edge and hid his face. His presence was incredibly powerful and pervasive. Was he a spirit... a ghost...was he forgotten?

'Our Deepest Fear is not that we are inadequate'

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” by Marianne Williamson from her book ~ 'A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles'

Goethe Quote

“Treat a man as he is and he remains as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.”

Saturday, 2 February 2008

To The Evening Star

To The Evening Star

by: William Blake (1757-1827)

HOU fair-hair'd angel of the evening,
Now, whilst the sun rests on the mountains, light
Thy bright torch of love; thy radiant crown
Put on, and smile upon our evening bed!
Smile on our loves, and while thou drawest the
Blue curtains of the sky, scatter thy silver dew
On every flower that shuts its sweet eyes
In timely sleep. Let thy west wind sleep on
The lake; speak silence with thy glimmering eyes,
And wash the dusk with silver. Soon, full soon,
Dost thou withdraw; then the wolf rages wide,
And then the lion glares through the dun forest:
The fleeces of our flocks are cover'd with
Thy sacred dew: protect them with thine influence!

Thursday, 24 January 2008

Blessings to Kali

It has been some considerable length of time since I visited my Blogg. December has been and passed and January is now drawing to a close. In December Amma ~ ‘The Hugging Saint’ came to Alexandra Palace. So much happened in that week it felt like a month. Each time I visit Amma I allow myself to expand ~ to take in more of the experience. Taking the steps out of the smallness of ego into the vastness of which Amma who is connected ~ is awe inspiring and for me feelings of fear and resistance ebb and flow ~ sometimes like waves/ sometimes lightly. I notice how addicted I am to struggle ~ to conflict ~ this drama “Opera of Life”. I experience Amma as being connected with the Divine in a way I have never experienced before. In away she is a living breathing portal and more than a portal ~ IS. Amma has an affinity with Kali and when she calls out ‘Ma Ma’ ~ coming from the place of who and where she is ~ I find hard to express in words ~ is Divine ~ biblical phrazes come to mind like 'burning bush'!. I went up for Darshan and my ego/mind gave me more permission to be open and to receive I had the experience that as a consequence I received two embraces ~ each person usually gets one. Amma received thousands as she does for hours on end without a break. To be in the presence of someone so developed is incredible.
And so it is also not a surprise that Amma is surrounded by many people’s ego’s and ‘stuff’ranging from fears to desires, passions, experiences, feelings of wonder and connection as well as feelings of being alone ~ full of the variety of life. This year there was also large number of western young people dancing ecstatically and singing. This has not happened in the previous years I have visited Amma. So culturally there is an extra-ordinary mix going on.
Amma has defied allot of conventional/conservative Indian traditions ~ this includes promoting the rights/equality of women in India. As a world campaigner for justice/peace and fighting poverty including funding hospitals/schools/housing the ‘Amma’ organization is doing an incredible amount.
Amma has fully encompassed life/Divine’s abundance. The more she gives the more she has to offer. And in turn the more the 'universe' gives back.
I allowed myself to have moments of waking up from this dream ~ this separation from the Divine. The experience of watching myself and forgetting my time alive is finite. But yet I battle with being more awake!
So the Wheel turns.
I will end this post with one anecdote.
I was on a London bus after work. Tired and strained after having to leave the ~seemingly ever increasing breakdown of London Underground service ~ I found a seat towards the back of the bus. I had closed my awareness and attention down and felt jolted out of my slumber by a man shouting. I was not clear what he was saying ~ but quickly came to the conclusion that he had mental health issues and was probably on medication. The man he was shouting at had a push chair which he hadn’t folded up. The man with the push chair mother was elderly and very calmly said to him to sit down next to her. This he did and she then spoke to him further. She did not appear threatened or phased. She appeared to see beyond his aggression to his fear/anxiety. He calmed down. Briefly another woman shouted at him which triggered him again, however the woman who had asked him to sit down next to him calmed the situation.
If I had been sitting where she was I would have felt threatened. I did not see his anxiety/fear. And I would have probably moved.
She showed me a third way. She reminded me of Amma who embracing everyone who comes to her. But she was not extraordinary like Amma. She did a simple act.

Blessings to Kali