It has been some considerable length of time since I visited my Blogg. December has been and passed and January is now drawing to a close. In December Amma ~ ‘The Hugging Saint’ came to Alexandra Palace. So much happened in that week it felt like a month. Each time I visit Amma I allow myself to expand ~ to take in more of the experience. Taking the steps out of the smallness of ego into the vastness of which Amma who is connected ~ is awe inspiring and for me feelings of fear and resistance ebb and flow ~ sometimes like waves/ sometimes lightly. I notice how addicted I am to struggle ~ to conflict ~ this drama “Opera of Life”. I experience Amma as being connected with the Divine in a way I have never experienced before. In away she is a living breathing portal and more than a portal ~ IS. Amma has an affinity with Kali and when she calls out ‘Ma Ma’ ~ coming from the place of who and where she is ~ I find hard to express in words ~ is Divine ~ biblical phrazes come to mind like 'burning bush'!. I went up for Darshan and my ego/mind gave me more permission to be open and to receive I had the experience that as a consequence I received two embraces ~ each person usually gets one. Amma received thousands as she does for hours on end without a break. To be in the presence of someone so developed is incredible.
And so it is also not a surprise that Amma is surrounded by many people’s ego’s and ‘stuff’ranging from fears to desires, passions, experiences, feelings of wonder and connection as well as feelings of being alone ~ full of the variety of life. This year there was also large number of western young people dancing ecstatically and singing. This has not happened in the previous years I have visited Amma. So culturally there is an extra-ordinary mix going on.
Amma has defied allot of conventional/conservative Indian traditions ~ this includes promoting the rights/equality of women in India. As a world campaigner for justice/peace and fighting poverty including funding hospitals/schools/housing the ‘Amma’ organization is doing an incredible amount.
Amma has fully encompassed life/Divine’s abundance. The more she gives the more she has to offer. And in turn the more the 'universe' gives back.
I allowed myself to have moments of waking up from this dream ~ this separation from the Divine. The experience of watching myself and forgetting my time alive is finite. But yet I battle with being more awake!
So the Wheel turns.
I will end this post with one anecdote.
I was on a London bus after work. Tired and strained after having to leave the ~seemingly ever increasing breakdown of London Underground service ~ I found a seat towards the back of the bus. I had closed my awareness and attention down and felt jolted out of my slumber by a man shouting. I was not clear what he was saying ~ but quickly came to the conclusion that he had mental health issues and was probably on medication. The man he was shouting at had a push chair which he hadn’t folded up. The man with the push chair mother was elderly and very calmly said to him to sit down next to her. This he did and she then spoke to him further. She did not appear threatened or phased. She appeared to see beyond his aggression to his fear/anxiety. He calmed down. Briefly another woman shouted at him which triggered him again, however the woman who had asked him to sit down next to him calmed the situation.
If I had been sitting where she was I would have felt threatened. I did not see his anxiety/fear. And I would have probably moved.
She showed me a third way. She reminded me of Amma who embracing everyone who comes to her. But she was not extraordinary like Amma. She did a simple act.
Blessings to Kali