Saturday, 15 May 2010


Buzz... A Celebration of British Bees & Their Flowers

An exhibition of Bee Paintings and Drawings by Valerie Littlewood

1st to 26th June 2010

Lumen Gallery, 88 Tavistock Place, WC1H 9RS London

Thursday, 13 May 2010

1 Giant Leap - Wounded In All The Right Places (Feat. K.D. Lang)

Wounded Angel ~ Emily Young 2003 ~ Kew

And the Angel loved us so much
His wings burnt as his passion and love for us grew
As he fell.
Knowing that as deep as he sang
Into our hearts of the earth.
The nearer we were to remembering our own wings
Beating so close to our beloved.
As we look inside we come alive to the night.
As we look to the night we come alive to the light.
As we look into the earth we remember the star burning bright.
In our hearts
My beloved.
We are all Wounded Angels
Silver Fox May 2010

A doodle during 3 1/2 hour initial child protection meeting ~ the decision was to place the child on the cp register. I had fought for months to have this meeting. A team of 15 professionals some of whom I had never met before crushed into a room ~ the number alone I would have thought a clear enough sign of the severity of the situation. However we battled on until the decision could be made.
I remind myself there is change.
So alongside this process I drew~ a root and anchor during the process. I wasn't fully aware of what was emerging until the end. I was for a while resistant to a growing black shape. I thought ahh an ugly blob...growing darkness! Then I saw what had emerged ~ a shape dancing, leaping, stretching.
To the right a shield made of a cobweb.
I reflect on how spiders hold this light and dark. So often I have struggled with how I percieve spiders. How much emotion and human fantasy spiders have had projected onto them. And I remember how I have struggled in being with this family. How I have percieved how comfortable they seem with their situation. How often they all have said, including the child, that they want everyone to leave them alone.
I contemplate how perception creates reality.
Spiders with there many feet are so sensitive. Spinning webs that glisten with dew. So light but so strong. They have an important place in nature and are filled with beauty.

Monday, 10 May 2010

"The knower of the mystery of sound knows the mystery of the whole universe." - Hazrat Inayat Khan

Monday, 3 May 2010

Melting the Ice in the Heart of Man

Last Monday I went to St James Alternatives to hear a talk by an Inuit from the Eskimo-kalaallit people in Greenland. His name is Angaangaq Angakkorsuaq from a family of healers. At 65 he said he has only been an active Shaman for 5 years. After a long time of procrastination his sister said enough indecision it was time for him to take his grandfathers talisman and be a Shaman. A generous open hearted man full of humour, laughter and intimacy.

He shared his concern for the ice melt in Greenland and the unusual temperatures ~ apparently last year they had temperatures up to 35 degrees which made the ice boil. Where upon he went to his grandmother and asked what he could do about the ice melt. Her answer to him was that he needed to go out and help to melt the ice in the hearts of man. He asked her how he could do this. She thought for a little time and answered to go out and help melt the ice in the hearts of man and walked away. So this was what he was doing. He told us that in the 70's it was possible to have stopped the change in the world but now it was not possible. It was inevitable.

Last year I had a calling to go to the Arctic. The calling was from spirit and so shocking ~ for it had to be for me to listen and wake up ~ I awoke in the middle of the night with a cry that I didn't want to die. But in order to wake up from the living dream I needed to answer this call to be born. Which I did. And with that a growing understanding of the vision I had of Death walking beside me as my friend.

I was born to a mother whose heart broken, had been burnt ice cold by electric shock treatment. Her memories buried. As a child my experience of her was of ice. I have for many years described her as frozen. I am not sure I can honestly remember a time where she laughed from deep in her belly, a laughter that ripples out through the heart. Never satisfied she remained locked in a dysfunctional relationship. She died when I was 20 after being diagnosed with cancer when I was 10.

When I answered the call I connected with the loss of my connection of my mother with my struggle to connect with the divine feminine. I felt how those two were interconnected inside me. I also was connecting with how this story was fed down through the family blood ancestors. I am not a mother in the sense I have not had a child. And at 41 I am near the time when that will not be possible. So with that in mind I have been with how I can heal this story handed down through mother and daughter.

My time in the Arctic was more than I could have imagined. I fell in love ~ an experience beyond a focus on a single person. I had the experience of being held. I had the experience of wilderness. And along with that experience I connected with the loss of this connection.
And I then realized ~ My God ~ if I was being gifted with just a fraction of what indigenous people felt all the time?...what could they have felt at others trying to burn this connection? And with that I felt such grief at this loss. Not just theirs ~ which still goes on. But also our collective loss. For even though that loss happened generations ago for my ancestors, that loss is still there. I heard stories of how Shaman's drums were burnt in front of their eyes. Now I understood not just in my mind what this could mean.

So I returned to London with an expeirence of 'coming home' in a land far away. With the growing awareness that I was gifted this experience so that I could feel this loss. I was not meant to run away into the country. My medicine was to be with this loss in the middle of the city. When I was 20 I ran away to the city to be lost. Now I find that I no longer crave to be lost. It is about remembering. And at times that thaw can be painful.

Through the thawing of my heart I can connect with that divine feminine that is part of me ~ as I am woman. That this wilderness is in the heart of us all. And that calling can come with the smell of blossom, a butterfly alighting on your skin or the call of the fox in the night. All this in the middle of this huge metroplis. For it is not possible for thousands of us to go and live in the countryside as it is cities are spreading into vanishing green land. And with that thought I ask how do we reconnect? First we need to remember. First we need to feel the loss. Both are connected. And as I write this I wonder how Angaangaq Angakkorsuaq experiences people/us who have forgotton that connection?

At times I have felt impatient with myself. Why can't I get a move on and heal my personal wounds so that I can get out there and help with this environmental crisis? Then I catch myself. I remind myself that there is not a divide between the personal and the collective. I remind myself of the times I have been in communion with others and feel that healing resonating outwardly and inwardly. That I and others can only start from where we are. That there is a connection with the microscomic and macrocosmic. This world view in which we are isolated beings that are not dependent on others is not real.

So I clean my local area of rubbish. I can't clean the whole of London but I clean the paths where I walk. And even though I feel an urgency not only in my desire akin to a 'Call to arms', I also call for patience and compassion in these accelerated times. For I do believe that as we get nearer to 2012 more of us will feel that thaw.

The Dark Mountain Project

Eight Principles of Uncivilisation ~ from The Manifesto of The Dark Mountain Project

‘We must unhumanise our views a little, and become confidentAs the rock and ocean that we were made from.

1. We live in a time of social, economic and ecological unravelling. All around us are signs that our whole way of living is already passing into history. We will face this reality honestly and learn how to live with it.

2. We reject the faith which holds that the converging crises of our times can be reduced to a set of‘problems’ in need of technological or political ‘solutions’.

3. We believe that the roots of these crises lie in the stories we have been telling ourselves. We intend to challenge the stories which underpin our civilisation: the myth of progress, the myth of human centrality, and the myth of our separation from ‘nature’. These myths are more dangerous for the fact that we have forgotten they are myths.

4. We will reassert the role of story-telling as more than mere entertainment. It is through stories that we weave reality.

5. Humans are not the point and purpose of the planet. Our art will begin with the attempt to step outside the human bubble. By careful attention, we will reengage with the non-human world.

6. We will celebrate writing and art which is grounded in a sense of place and of time. Our literature has been dominated for too long by those who inhabit the cosmopolitan citadels.

7. We will not lose ourselves in the elaboration of theories or ideologies. Our words will be elemental. We write with dirt under our fingernails.

8. The end of the world as we know it is not the end of the world full stop. Together, we will find the hope beyond hope, the paths which lead to the unknown world ahead of us.

Sunday, 2 May 2010

The Enigma Of Capital - Professor David Harvey - Part 1 - London School ...

An inspiring talk in 8 parts on youtube which places capitalism at the root of the inter connected problems of environmental crisis and the economic crisis. At the end of the talk D.Harvey answers questions and briefly touches on how to subvert the capitalist system referring to a holistic model based on Marx. He suggests that in order to change the system an approach is needed which includes many parts such as intellectual/changing ideas, social relationships, relationship of humans/society to the environment and industry {which in the 19C used to be seen as an art or medicine which used to be holistic but is now slave to the pharmaceuticals}. By including the evolving society D.Harvey makes reference to sub-cultures networking and collaborating in order to subvert the dysfunctional system.

He begins the talk by illustrating that it is not possible to have capitalism without a debt economy and crisis, and it is always the poorest and the most vulnerable who suffer. He refers to the capitalism making money from the environmental crisis by purchasing carbon debt~ which I find obscene as well as mad but then this is just another debt to make money from. Importantly D.Harvey states we need an anti-wealth movement and how radical that idea is for many.

For me it is extremely timely to have seen this talk today, as we are so near to UK elections. D.Harvey points out that is was not the political party leaders who first appeared on the TV when the last financial crisis hit the public domain. It was key financial figures such as the head of US Treasury. All the political parties in UK are hoping to get voted in next week but they are are all struggling within this system ~ they are bound into and by the system. All saying that the people are going to have to pay for the bankers but are trying to spin this in the most positive light.

So anti-capitalism and social control over the surplus ~ how will it be spent and/or who would have a say in the decision making ~ would mean not being in debt and not swallowing this fantasy dream ie to be home owners; key to perpetuating this dysfunctional system. And for me capitalism and consumerism is addictive and requires a radical change for individuals {emotionally, mentally, physically} and society. Not surprisingly D. Harvey repeatedly makes references to changing what is taught, academia, thinking, intellectualism and ideas. And he also points out that ideas are not enough. Importantly D.Harvey's talk is peppered with concrete illustrations, humour, creativity and optimism.

In his talk D. Harvey makes reference to 9/11 which stopped a large number flying and he says that D.Bush went on to TV asking people to fly. And why ~ coos people were not spending money, were not perpetuating the system. So I find it very interesting that in the alternative sub-cultures that I circulate in, people are talking about Mother Earth sending a message to us humans through the volcano in Iceland. So if I take this idea on what message do I think Mother Earth can be saying? As I think it is interesting that for over a week flights were stopped due to the volcanic ash but due to the economic pressure the flights were brought back on. For me I noticed how people were upset and angry at the inconvenience of not being able to fly. That I was having conversations about having to take slower means of transportation. For a short period of time I had a glimpse of how life might change. And that in fact we are all on this planet together. Not isolated but reliant on one another and Mother Earth. How vast Earth is but also how complex, powerful, fierce and delicate.

So it is with excitement that I watch a talk given at the School of Economics where a man sees links being made between different schools of thought, ethos and sub-cultures. Mirroring one another. I would be interested to hear his thoughts on Transition Towns Projects. As he says we are at a critical crucial time. A cross-roads.

via Blessed Wild Apple Girl