Tuesday, 20 December 2011


A holiday postcard circa 1900 from wikipidea

Yesterday evening 5pm misty cold London evening, while being swept along in London Bridge train station crowd; I overheard a woman on her mobile complaining about her friend being 'bah humbug'. I exclaimed to myself 'just coos I don't celebrate Christmas don't assume I am being a 'kill joy'. Ah ha me thought ~ an opportunity for change. For healing.
Like many I have found this time a challenge. It is reminder that I cannot force fit my childhood family into the 'perfect ideal' pictured in Western Society's idea of Christmas. So I have felt lost. Left out in the cold. I have spent Xmas on my own for over 20 years, years I have tried to block from my memory. Far from a time of celebration of being with loved ones a time for appreciation and sharing. I have found myself facing the cul-de-sac labelled 'what is wrong with me'?
And despite feeling envious this has not stopped me appreciating others sharing the joy of each other ~ giving and receiving, nurturing, celebration, gorgeous food, Light and Fun.
But what i don't 'get' is the commercialisation and the ever increasing sell sell of expensive gifts ~ especially for children. There is the pressure to conform to an idea of how a family is to be.
I wonder if I had a different childhood and family would I be thinking the same? Or would I be focusing on the preparations. Looking forward to being with my family even though they do get on my nerves! It would be within acceptable annoyance. And the positives would out way the negatives.
So, I do not want to be linked with 'bah humbug' though I struggle with my own loss of that warmth at this time of dark and cold. Instead of remaining conflicted I begin to realize that yet again as I walk on the edge I have choice. No need to drown in the waters of shame. Nor do I go along with others or 'societies' expectations. I am working on choice. What can, and do I want this time to be. What can it be. So, little by little I dare to be more present. Open to possibility. Because I have loss means I can appreciate so much.

Today I brought mistletoe which is hanging in my doorway. For 2 years I have had a growing awareness to this magical plant. So I choose this as an opportunity to connect more with the 'medicine' and spirit.
Mistletoe's name is anglo-saxon in origin ~ 'mistle' means dung and 'tan' is the word for twig. So mistletoe means dung-on-a-twig (1).
"Shakespeare referred to it as the 'baleful Mistletoe', from the Scandinavian legend the Balder, the God of Peace, was slain with an arrow made of mistletoe. He was restored to life of the request of the other Gods and Goddesses and Mistletoe was afterwards given into the keeping of the Goddess of Love, and it was ordained that anyone who passed under it should receive a kiss, to show the branch had become an emblem of love, and not of hate." (1)
There are various myths such as linking Mistletoe to birds as some believed it grew from birds dung or that due to it not growing from soil it was heaven sent. Many believe it was sacred to the Celtic druids and some believe it was used in shamanic practices. Neither plant or herb. In between ~ a gatekeeper between the worlds.
"Basically: The mistletoe does not care for earth or sky, it grows the way it wants and lingers outside all rhythms and laws of terrestrial growth. Some examples: it does not care for day or night, top or bottom, summer or winter, laws of gravitation, linear laws (spatial extent)." (2)
The name also apparently means "the one that heals everything" (3) ~ powerful medicine in deed. Mistletoe's Medicinal/Remedial Properties and Lore are many: Antispasmodic, cardiac, cytostatic, diuretic, emmengogue, haemostat, hypotensive, narcotic, nervine, stimulant, tonic, vasodilator. (4)
"In 50 C.E., the Greek physician Dioscorides wrote his Materia Medica, establishing himself a place in medical history. As one of the ancient world's most knowledgeable herbalists, Dioscorides found that mistletoe helped cure his patients of external tumors. He wrote that it “has the power to disperse, soften, drawing and assisting tumors of the parotid gland and other lesions…” Some forty or so years later, Pliny the Elder wrote of the treatment of sores and epilepsy with mistletoe in his Natural History. He also described its use in magic and ritual" (4)
In the 1920's Rudolf Steiner became interested in Mistletoe and since then has been used as treatment for Cancer. According to Steinerhealth.org various studies have shown Mistletoe to have several benefits in the treatment of Cancer. (5)
It's magical properties include drawing love, protection and banishing evil spirits. Not surprising then it is meant to aid in peaceful sleep. (6)
Mistletoe from my investigations I realize, has been and remains powerful; still integral to so many's ritual even though not everyone might be aware of it's healing properties or its links with myth, history, folklore and spiritual beliefs. It is linked with Winter Solstice ~ the Pagan New Year. Time to remember and celebrate new life.

So for me what can I celebrate. I am not out in the cold. I am no longer homeless either physically or emotionally. As the shortest day draws near I remember the richness and abundance that lies warm in the dark earth. I am reminded of the abundance in my life ~ so many gifts that are part of me which I share with others, the rich memories that have given birth to dear connections and shared loves. So I give thanks to the gifts of Mistletoe that aid me in my dreams of past, present and future. I acknowledge and ask for ingenuity, strength, endurance protection, abundance, creativity and love.

Monday, 28 November 2011

Burning our way to Power

by gloriagypsy @ deviantart.com

"The soul is here to live its joy. The uninitiated ego is here to keep things familiar, safe and predictable. Which path will you choose?"[1]

"Carl whose favourate passtime was to go to the park on a sunny afternoon, sit down on his bench, and bask in the solar rays. One day as he sat quietly on his bench [wearing his business suit], a large man wearing a uniform and heavy boots came and stood in front of him, blocking the sun. Being a peaceful sort of guy who did not like to make trouble, Carl merely moved over on the park bench so he could once again feel the sun's rays on his face.

No sooner did he move than the uniformed man moved again to block the sun. Carl moved again. So did the man. At this point, Carl spoke up and politely asked the man to move aside. The man did not. Carl, getting angry now, tried to push him aside. The man pushed him back on the bench and, with his heavy boot, stepped on Carl's foot and mashed it into the ground. Carl, very angry now, began to scream obscenities, flailing his arms at the man and yelling for help.

But his crying was in vain. No one came to his rescue. When Carl lifed his head and looked around, he suddenly saw why. He saw that each person in the park had a uniformed man standing in front of them. Many had boots stepping on their toes, while others were chained to their benches. Most people on the benches were passively sitting still, some were quietly reading, while others turned to stare at Carl disapprovingly, scorning his childish and uncooperative outburst. None of the others were complaining about the man on their foot - why should Carl? Their outrage was aimed not at the man in the uniform but at Carl. He was living the self they had long since rejected.

This is where the story ends, but we can all guess at the possible outcomes. Did Carl continue to yell and scream only to be chained to his bench with the key in someone else's possession? Did he give up his rebellion and learn to sit quietly and passively like his neighbours? Did he rally support and create an uprising in the park? Did he transform his jailer? What would you have done?

We are held in our places within a culture where the personal loss of power is so epidemic that no one hears the cries of loss and outrage. Instead we are ostracized for acts of individuality, or, at best, feared. To keep our power over others, we often give up our freedom and authenticity, and conform to expectations. This is a terrible loss, for it obscures the unique divinity within ourselves that contains the seeds of evolution and transformation. Those who have made this sacrifice expect others to do the same and become highly offended when they do not. Straight men in their gray suits may be offended by flamboyantly dressed gay men. The obedient wife is offended by the militant feminism of her daughter. War veterans are offended by those who march for peace.

In the wake of this loss, we have a civilization so obsessed with its loss of power that is spends enormous amounts of money and energy creating the shadow of power through warfare and technology. We have complied with the master, internalized controller, and beomce accomplices in a polarized society whose main goal is to control more with less. Numb to the pain, numb to our own powerlessness, numb to the repetitive tasks believed necessary for our physical survival, we live with the emptiness inside ourselves. Empty inside, our cultural myth tells us that power lies outside of ourselves in the approval of others, in technological gadgets, or through a distant and authoritarian god. Thus we deplete ourselves, our resources, and our planet, reaching for a power outside, a power over, a power that will only enslave us"[2]

[1] Soulcraft. Chapter 13. Living As if your place in the World mattered. Page 325. By Bill Plotkin.
[2] Eastern Body, Western Mind. Chakra Three Burning our way to Power. Truamas and Abuses. Page 189-190. By Anodea Judith.

Monday, 14 November 2011

from a Spiritual Activist

picture by burning~liquid

author unknown or one could say origin from source
On the surface of the world right now there is
mayhem and violence and things seem dark.
But calmly and quietly, at the same time,
something else is happening underground
An inner revolution is taking place
and certain individuals are being called to a higher light.
It is a silent revolution.
From the inside out. From the ground up.
This is a Global operation.
A Spiritual Conspiracy.
We are in every nation on the planet.
You won't see us on the T. V.
You won't read about us in the newspaper
You won't hear about us on the radio
We don't seek any glory
We don't wear any uniform
We come in all shapes and sizes, colors and styles
Most of us work anonymously
We are quietly working behind the scenes
in every country and culture of the world
Cities big and small, mountains and valleys,
in farms and villages, tribes and remote islands
You could pass by one of us on the street
and not even notice.
We go undercover
We remain behind the scenes
It is of no concern to us who takes the final credit
But simply that the Work gets done
Occasionally we spot each other in the street
We give a quiet nod and continue on our way
During the day many of us pretend we have normal jobs
But behind the false storefront at night
is where the real work takes a place
We are slowly creating a new world
with the power of our minds and hearts
We follow, with passion and joy
Our Orders;
We are dropping soft, secret love bombs when no one is looking
Prayers ~ Poems ~ Hugs ~ Music ~ Photography ~ Movies ~ Kind words ~
Smiles ~ Meditation and prayer ~ Dance ~ Social activism ~ Websites
Blogs ~ Random acts of kindness...
We each express ourselves in our own unique ways
with our own unique gifts and talents
We are the change we want to see in the world
We know it is the only way real transformation takes place
We know that quietly and humbly we have the
power of all the oceans combined;
Our work is slow and meticulous
Like the formation of mountains
It is not even visible at first glance
And yet with it entire tectonic plates
shall be moved in the centuries to come.
Love is the new religion of the 21st century
It cannot be taught, only caught.
It comes from the intelligence of our heart
And the fire of our soul
Embedded in the timeless evolutionary pulse of all human beings
We are the change we want to see in the world
Only we can do it
Perhaps you have already joined us
All are welcome
The door is open

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Holkham ~ Norfolk

Seagull high in Sky.

Sands breathing in Dragons Breath.

Anchored through infinity Sky, Sand and Sea

Our bodies mirror the Curve of the Earth



Friday, 7 October 2011

Liebster Blog Award

Thank you to Laurel for including me in her 5 for this award.

Liebster is beloved in German...be loved...I am reminded of Rumi and Sufism. The beloved is the other, you and the Divine. You see yourself and love reflected in another eyes.

I am passing this award onto these 5 blogs who give me so much:

* Laurel's Reflections
* Amber Caspian
* Crashingly Beautiful
* Moonroot
* Chateau 7

For those receiving this award, there are a few guidelines:

* Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.
* Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
* Copy and paste the award on your blog.
* Have faith that your followers will link with other bloggers.
* And most of all – blog to your heart’s delight!

There is no need to pass this on to anyone if you are not so inclined. Just an opportunity to share :o)

Monday, 5 September 2011

Learning to Listen

Blackthorn ~ Prunus spinosa

Over the years I have been learning to listen to where my attention is drawn. This can come through any of the senses. I have also found that not only are my senses drawn in a particular direction but this also accompanies a strong desire or attraction. It can feel akin to feeling hungry, to having a nagging thought that doesn't go away or wanting to listen to a particular piece of music. When we have those desires hopefully we don't dismiss or ignore them. I have learnt that so many gifts come from including these messages.

This late August into early September I have noticed Blackthorn with their blue/purple berries ~ otherwise known as sloe which can be made into Jam, Wine or a health tonic. Why had I not been aware of this tree and their fruits before? Unfamiliar they looked edible and I had a strong desire to eat them. But I thought better not... Just in case. I put my curiosity aside. However, the curiosity grew into fascination and I kept seeing more. I looked the tree up and identified it as Blackthorn. On my return to home I searched some more. And as I found out the properties of Blackthorn realized that there is a reason why I was drawn to this tree at this specific time. And I am thankful that I have learnt to listen to those messages. Years ago these messages were more often a faint whisper and infrequent. Now they come louder, more diverse and as such are not out of the ordinary.

I have trusted in my process of listening. However, I have found in today's world this way is not so easily trusted. From school I was taught that to learn meant memorising other's interpretations and quoting them in order to pass the tests. My own interpretations were discouraged especially if they did not fit. Schooling was not about learning to perceive, to be inquisitive, to ask questions. It was about becoming memory banks. Unfortunately I found this also carried on into Art College where only certain styles and philosophical approaches were acceptable.

It is a delicate balance between following, learning tools, techniques and being prescriptive. We now have an abundance of books that illustrate the ways, whys, because, hows, whens etc. We have increasing number of competing workshop leaders who offer courses that lead to certifications. It is wonderful that there is so much choice, experience, knowledge and more acceptance of Esoteric, Metaphysical, Alternative Spirituality and Pagan fields. However, I would also add that an over reliance on following a style of learning which is more 'painting by numbers' can stifle the magic and mystery to discovery of each person's unique individuation process. There is a danger of our own selves and process being lost in the experts experience.

In the past I too often found that I became lost in anothers journey resulting in feelings of intimidation and inadequacy. When entering anothers neatly summarized presentation of their journey we don't see the full process that person underwent. We might not realize what wonders of creativity lies in our Secret Garden that follow the dark nights of our soul. Getting lost is part of the journey, in fact is a necessity. To quote C. G. Jung " The right way to wholeness is made up of fateful detours and wrong turnings". For me a wise teacher is one that does not live by this old model of delivering lots of techniques, tasks, models and theory ~ that can prove their value. But who facilities space for others to explore and be held in that process. Many are speaking of 2012 the year where many will awaken. I believe this is about acknowledging where we are already. It is not the few leading the many.

Learning to listen for me is about discerning. I have found that I frequently discard layers of mis-information so that I can tune into the deeper messages. Is there another voice that says eat some spinach and not more chocolate?! Or "Cross to the others side of the road NOW!" which happened to me twice where upon not listening I was set upon by a gang and harrassed by another the other time. Now when I get a voice out of the blue ~ I must remember to listen! I felt confused by my fascination for this tree. What part of my response could I trust; with its dark twisted bark and huge thorns with shiny blue berries and deep glossy green leaves. I felt a feeling of being held through connecting with it's sturdiness, resilience and tenacity. Were the berries ripe to eat? Would I need to cook them? I needed to be respectful in my approach. If this tree was person it would be like an old man with short temper when his words were not listened to carefully. With many wonderful stories while sitting smoking his pipe by the fire-side his pockets bulging with old stories of mysterious paths and wonders hidden amongst rock, bone and wood. His old eyes sparkling in the dim light full of life and vibrancy. His stick hard as rock ready to beat back any scurrilous stranger. As his smoke created strange shapes around his face his laughter cracked inside the fire stirring the embers. He could be seen simultaneously sitting at the fire that was slow burning while at the same time sitting on the cliffs edge watching the sun rise and fall. Easily overlooked and misunderstood by many who are in too much haste and impatience.

Blackthorn is the brother tree to its sister Hawthorn. Feared because of it's nature. It's magical medicine can be seen through observing it's apparence and it's medicinal properties.
Blackthorn the first to flower before other trees and whose berries are last to ripen in Autumn. The thorns if you are cut by them can become septic. The wood is extremely hardy. Blackthorn has many medicinal properties and which include boosting the immune system as well as being a cleanser/purifier. Sloe berries are very tonic bitters. They are astringent, and stimulate the metabolism, clean the blood, and are used as a laxative and diuretic. They help with indigestion, eczema, herpes, allergies, colds, catarrh, neurosis, weak heart, kidney stones, skin, bladder, and prostrate problems. They disperse toxins.10 In 17th and 18th Century, sloes were brewed as a purgative to treat “fluxes in the belly.”(The Spirit of Trees, page 187)“The fruit and leaves of Blackthorn contain tannins, organic acids, sugars and vitamin C. Steeped in boiling water, the flowers have a mild diuretic, tonic and laxative properties. The dried fruits are used to treat bladder, kidney and stomach disorders. The liquid from the boiled leaves can be used as a mouthwash for sore throat, tonsillitis and laryngitis. It is also good for circulations, blood strengthening, and nutrient absorption.” (The Wisdom of Trees, page 127)

Green Man Tree Essences
: “Blackthorn - Circulation. Helps absorption of energies necessary for life. Stabilizes emotions. Brings hope and joy. Stimulating.”

“The leaves can be boiled into a decoction that, once cooled, is an excellent mouthwash and gargle for those suffering from tonsillitis or laryngitis. It can also be used as a soothing eye bath. A tea made from the powdered bark has a calming effect on the nerves.” (Celtic Tree Mysteries, page 166)

"Blackthorn is a guardian, keeper of the shadows, holder of the darkest secrets." "Helps us to bring light where there is darkness." (Tree Angel Oracle, p56)

Sources for Magical, Health and Healing Properties found in:


Tree Wisdom by Jacquellne Memory Paterson

Tree Angel Oracle by Fred Hageneder & Anne Heng

Thursday, 25 August 2011


Photo of Altai Mountian Range: http://www.aquerius.co.uk/altai/

Sometimes it takes a few nudges from Spirit for the message to get through. A few weeks ago a woman lent me a book and said to me Spirit had told her that I needed to read this. I thanked her and placed it on my pile of books to read. Promtly forgetting it. Then last week another handed me this book and said that if I had not read it I should and gave me it to me. I took it home then realizing it was the same book. Following is a review from Reed Business Information, Inc. Product Description:

“When the young Russian psychiatrist Olga Kharitidi set out on an impetuous journey into the snowbound Altai Mountains of Siberia, she never dreamed that her experience there would shatter and rebuild her view of reality. Among the wintry villages and pine forests of Siberia, guided by mysterious native sages, Kharitidi unearthed the wellspring of the worlds mystical traditions, discovered deep secrets of healing and magic, and encountered revolutionary teachings about the true nature of the human soul. Entering the Circle shares her thrilling adventure–and her stunning discoveries–with the world. As a dedicated young psychiatrist at an austere state hospital in the former Soviet Union, Olga Kharitidi battled the difficulties of Soviet life and the constraints of medical science in her fight to save her suffering patients. Joining an ailing friend on a spur-of-the-moment trip into Siberia’s Altai Mountains, Kharitidi was launched on an unexpected journey of revelation when she was taken into apprenticeship by an enigmatic native shaman. The wild adventure that followed would forever change Kharitidi’s view of healing, science, consciousness–and the potential of the human soul itself. Entering the Circle shares Kharitidi’s remarkable true story and the revelatory teachings she received during her sojourn with mysterious sages of Siberia. Guided through bizarre, magical, and often terrifying experiences by her shaman-teacher Umai–and by a radical Soviet physicist whose studies challenged the very nature of reality–Kharitidi unlocked a storehouse of spiritual learning that had lain hidden in inaccessible Siberia for centuries. Deep in Siberia, Kharitidi’s path of knowledge led her ever closer to unlocking the secrets of Belovodia, also known as Shambala, a fabled civilization of highly evolved humans who have for eons spread their sacred knowledge through the world’s great faiths, including Buddhism, Christian mysticism, Sufism, and Vedic Hinduism. She learned, through firsthand experience, that waking reality–the fabric of our daily lives–is only the near shore of our Spirit Lake, the sea of…..(?)”

The name of the book is ~ "Entering the Circle - Ancient Secrets of Siberian Wisdom Discovered by a Russian Psychiatrist" by Olga Kharitidi. Olga Kharitidi makes reference to a frozen mummy discovered in 1993. Apparently 1 of aprox 700 other tombs in the area.

‎"In 1993 a frozen mummy nicknamed 'The Ice Maiden' was discovered in the Altai Mountains in Siberia (see image). The unique preservation of this tattooed mummy and the warming Altai climate prompted Russian archaeologists to transport her... to the Siberian capital of Novosibirsk for scientific study. The removal resulted in political unrest in the local shaman community, located in the Kosh-Agach region, who demanded that the mummy be reinterred. However, reluctant to leave the mummy to deteriorate, the scientists refused to return it to its thawing grave. After 16 years of debate, a petition with almost 5,000 signatures and a decision by the central government in Moscow, the plan is to return the mummy to a purpose-built exhibit in the museum at Gorno-Altaisk in the Altai region3."

'The Ice Maiden' has designs tatooed over her body which the book has illustrated at the start of each chapter. Olga Kharitidi's book refers to humans awaking to our consciousness. I find it extraordinary that this is occuring alongside the discovery of these tombs. I am reminded of the talk I went to by the Shaman Angaangaq Angakkorsuaq from Greenland who spoke of the plight of the northern lands ice melt which is linked to the Western Man's heart being frozen. The Western Man/Ego has frozen those links to ancient Wisdom/Spirit. And we think that the more we dig the more we x-ray examin and expose the more answers we find. In fact we risk loosing further discoveries and mystery. If we dismantle an intricate clock and examin all it's pieces. Will we understand the craftmanship? Will know how to piece the clock back? Will we understand time?

Sunday, 21 August 2011

Awaken to Life

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait." Paulo Coelho Facebook

“Why has our society morphed into a society of addicts? You may balk at that question, thinking, “I’m not an addict,” but if that is your response, then you need to redefine your understanding of what qualifies as an addiction. In addition to substances, addictions include attitudes and actions. Addictions are, in effect, a choice to remain unconscious in an age rapidly moving toward a new paradigm of consciousness.
So, what makes us naturally inclined toward addictions? Whether alcohol, drugs, sex, technology, Internet communication/emails, gossiping, power, cruelty, exercise, or food, the fact is we are by nature addicts. We are always seeking some way, some method, some means through which we can escape our ordinary state of consciousness, if only for thirty minutes of distraction or a temporary physical buzz brought on by a glass of wine or a candy bar no one sees us eat, or drugs that make us feel good. We can’t stop ourselves – and that is a fact.
Addiction is a stage of consciousness that every single human being progresses through"
Caroline Myss
“Whether we realize it or not, we are all dreaming the world into being. What we're engaging in is not the sleeping act we're so familiar with, but rather a type of dreaming we do with our eyes open. When we're unaware that we share the power to co-create reality with the universe itself, that power slips away from us, causing our dream to become a nightmare. We begin to feel we're the victims of an unknown and frightening creation that we're unable to influence, and events seem to control and trap us. That only way to end this dreadful reality is to awaken to the fact that it too is a dream - and then recognize our ability to write a better story, one that the universe will work with us to manifest" Alberto Villoldo
"In The Conference of the Birds, Persian poet Farid Din Attar wrote this about suffering:
If crazy dervishes behave like this
It’s not for you to take their words amiss;
If they seem drunk to you, control your scorn–
Their lives are painful, savage, and forlorn;
They must endure a lifetime’s hopelessness
And every moment brings some new distress–
Don’t meddle with their conduct, don’t reprove
Those given up to madness and to love.
You would excuse them–nothing is more sure–
If you could share the darkness they endure.

Those of us who work at spiritual and psychological growth will encounter great darkness along the way. It is no coincidence that one of the first archetypes one meets in the individuation process is the Shadow Archetype. All that we’d hidden from ourselves, all that we shove down and away, all that we project on others and hate in them–that’s what we find in the darkness. It can be overwhelming. A person in the phase of personal work can become overwhelmed and lose heart, just as a person encountering grief, sorrow, stress, and other dark experiences can lose heart without hope or encouragement.
Hope is knowing that the moon will return, and even its most feeble light will illuminate the world. "
From the Darkness ~ The Third Eve Blog ~
"Authentic relationship with darkness and unknowing usually brings about a shamanic death (the alchemical nigredo). It is not for the faint~ hearted, and it's way beyond the ego's fantasies, attachments, or ideas of grandeur. It includes experiences of 'hell', as well as 'heaven', as we attempt to find optimal relationship with the flame. Jung found that a victory for the Self always included a defeat for the ego, an experience we are sure to have is seeking alchemical renewal." Monika Wikman ~ Pregnant Darkness.

There would have been a further inclusion to this post from Carolyn Myss talk on Spiritual Madness if I could summarise her talk which of course I can not! She spoke of the challenging times we are living in which the Mystical path that was once for the few ~ who separated themselves from ordinary way of life ~ has now evolved to being experienced by the many who do not separate themselves from ordinary living. We are evolving fast. Carolyn Myss speaks of the necessity for the Dark Night of the Soul as we strive to integrate a strong psychological Self with the Spiritual Oneness; which is about letting go of the individualism and ego materialistic drivers. She suggests that in today's Western Society Spiritualism has even become a commodity. Where the idea of reaching our Spiritual enlightenment can be dictated by our egos. We bargain with God expecting rewards on our terms, for our efforts.

Carolyn Myss highlights how much of a challenge it is to be on the mystical path while bringing up families and working to earn a living, instead of living in an ashram or retreat. For, when we ask the Divine to speak to us we invite Chaos. We ask for those props/addictions we use to escape from our Soul and Life, to be rattled. We then find those systems of thought and habit no longer work. So we look outside and where are our answers? We must look inside; into the darkness and the unknown for 'The light at the end of the tunnel'. However, there is one myth that needs to be dismissed. There is not just the one Dark Night of the Soul that we must journey.

When I listened to her talk I reflected on how this mystical experience is not just being experienced by individuals on their own but due to living life with others; their journeys are being felt by those around them. The affect is rippling inwardly and outwardly. Those of us on spiritual paths are coming together to validate, learn remember and connect. I am experiencing how we are re-learning to share this journey with ourselves and each other. Integral to this is not just remembering a spiritual language but creating a new way of experience and co-creating. This co-creating is deeply healing. Is becoming and being more conscious and alive. Speaking from our Soul. Soul Speak.

The above quotes I have chosen as they speak to me at this point of my journey at a time where I am questioning how, why, and/or when I speak. There are times images and/or sound can fulfil experience more than words. Though we/many may speak the same language, at the same time and place in history. We can be deceived into thinking that we understand ourselves and each other fully, not just from a mind space but also body and soul. I think one of my primary senses is visual and as such I believe I speak words from a primary visual space, which might differ from another who functions more from another sense or more from a mind space.

When the Soul speaks it is in deeper language that though rarer is accessible; and if one has the courage to release control ~ can fully experience. Poetry for me can be a medium that though is of word, is magical because it is many bridges between the Mind~Body~Soul between the unconscious and conscious. It has been described as food for the Soul. It creeps/crawls/walks/runs/skips on the edge. It does not just speak or even shout ~ it Sings.

At such times when a person is in transition. Between stations unsure of the destination, country or landscape. I speak both in the physical and metaphysical. Soul Speak not only describes but also co-creates. Soul is a tear drop from Spirit. Our journey/the track we are on is not just a to b. Many of us are aware of this when we experience Déjà vu; an opening in our consciousness of an awareness that we have been here before. This is different to that of premonition which predicts the future. Déjà vu is a meeting of time and worlds at that moment.

The journey of the Soul is not a clear staged journey from Earth below to Heaven above. To be followed by a guide book as we tread well-worn steps up the mountain with clearly marked stages and stations, with refreshments and signed lovely views. The journey of the Soul asks us to fully awaken to Life. To dance with muddied feet so dead skin is peeled away to reveal tender bark. True Soul is experienced through a greening of nature, a returning to Source. The Well of Life that lies behind dark walls of the hidden garden. There is a door to this garden but the Key. The Key is our Heart.

Along the way there are guides. Some share riddles. Some will lead us into traps. Some will share gifts to aid us along our way. All are Spirit sent. Even the devils. As the saying goes "Our worst teachers are our best teachers". There is another way to walk other than the even bland world, with muted dulled senses where we inhabit the Masks of Safety. Behind which our demons cry out, even though they kept saying yes this is the right way! You will be OK.

Not fully Awakened to Life. We travel a smooth road that is never dark. So eager to have our way shown. Lightened up. Safe. We wipe out the Stars our birth place. Not fully open to mystery. A life shallow limited to surprises. We dare not swim in waters that are deep, afraid of beings we can't quite make out let alone understand. I would therefore ask people to put away their mobile tracking phone maps, when walking in the countryside. Don't do it! Take a paper map if you must. Allow your inner Divine child to discover and adventure. Trust. Drink in that wonder, joy and delight. Be intoxicated but not drunk and not addicted; but fully Awakened to Life. Laugh with gurgling wonder and hiccup.


Francisci Ponae ~ Cardiomorpheos ~ 1645