Finding Treasure where you Least Expect

I wish in future I can cherish each moment in the moment. In doing so I will be able to fully experience. I will not be living out of regret.

How often when something or someone seems so vibrant so strong they can be suddenly be gone. I can find it hard to believe that all is transient. Not to focus on the Loss but instead focus on all that I have experienced. To celebrate and enjoy.

What set this particular train of feeling and thought in motion, was that my local charity shop has had it's management change hands. And the manager was incredibly significant. He was in the tradition of British Eccentric. Wealthy and with that came an ease of behaving. He was I think a member of another wonderful tradition of artists. Incredible intense. Incredibly creative. And at times deliciously non PC! With a gift of story telling so that in every telling the story became more dramatic. I was never sure of what was 'the reality' which was rather liberating and refreshing!

In his shop all and everyone was welcome and included. I had the experience that it was a place where if people dared they could be what they wished. They could try on a role or costume. On one momentous day I met a Transsexual who literally spent the day trying on women's clothes asking advice from Stephan the Manager, me and Adam Ant who ran into the shop seeking refuge from his nightmares. On that same day I was helping out behind the counter as the young lady who usually helped out, took exception to Adam and walked out. Shortly after a woman came in and ended up getting a psychic reading from Hazel the resident witch; otherwise known as Elizabeth or Silver Fox. Due to having her dog stolen.

That day was like a Reclaiming 7 day WitchCamp intensive ~ compressed into 1 day. And it took me quite sometime to recover from such a high intensity of experience! For Stephan ~ well this was not quite his average day but I imagine not that extraordinary.

He created a community. On entering the shop he would introduce everyone to that person. And whatever name he chose was your name! Over the years the shop got fuller and fuller with more donations, more people and the walls covered with pictures, photos, poems and mementos. And the shop displays were wonderful. People's discarded 'junk' could be transformed into a rich diverse delicious display. It was a treasure trove. It was a place where he was the Grand Master the Warlock as he loved to declare. And the funny thing is, even though I had the sneaking suspicion he thought he wasn't. He was in fact a Mage! Because for me he did transform. He did create a space where so much more was possible. An Alchemist in your local shop. How subversive is that!

I have known him for over 10 years ~ during which he has moved from charity shop to charity shop within this vicinity. This last 5 years he spent at my local charity shop. He gave me so much. And he would say time and time again how much I gave him.

However he moved on without me having a chance to say goodbye or to find out where he is going next. And for me it was a shock. I knew something was up coos the shop had been closed 'for refurbishment' for ages. Today I had a free Saturday and went in. It had been stripped bare. With a rather nervy new manager behind the counter. With only 2 customers. And the walls a bland white with only a few items clearly priced. Not to be enjoyed and/or to be part of creating an experience of sharing and community. Just things to be sold on in an ordinary shop. A place of transience. Of things people have discarded. Not a place for the ordinary to be extraordinary.

For me the timing in which I saw this charity shop ~ now an empty space ~ comes at a time when I am experiencing the UK government speaking of 'Big Society'. While at the same time wanting to sell of forests and get rid of Public Libraries. Wanting to strip away so much richness, so much diversity, so much creativity. Was to say the least sad.

So this is a big thank you to Stephan which I imagine is one of many names. I wish you safe travels, happiness and peace. What you created is in my heart. And because your vision was shared, this can be re-created by many because you shared so much.

Grail

Dare to feel. Dare to Care.

"Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience. Taking responsability for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them" ~ Byron Katie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5fOvcta3Ws&feature=related ~ Peter Gabriel 'Digging in the Dirt'.

When in discussions on peaceful ways to responding to violence I have found this question is often posed: "What would you do if a person had a gun and was going to threaten to kill someone?". And the people asking this sometimes go on to add ~ "Because you do not want to harm them; would a peaceful response mean just standing by and not intervening? Would you stand by and let them kill others?" Not surprisingly I have found myself struggling to respond.

I have heard a a range of answers. One which I have found very moving is that a peaceful person would stand in front the person with the gun. They would risk their own lives to protect others. Selflessly. That it is the vacancy of fear that breaks the cycle of violence. And on hearing this I have pondered whether I could do such a thing, whether I could act not out of fear. And to be honest my answer has been that I am not confident that I could.

Then I remembered a time when I saw two young men deep in a very bloody fight. I went straight up to them and split both of them a part. They stopped. I didn't shout. I felt no fear. Just a desire for them to stop hurting each other. I was with another who when we left the two young men was enraged with me for intervening. He had watched on in fear for himself and me. He said to me what if one of them had turned on you with a knife? Or had a gun? He said I was stupid because I did not think of my own safety or his. I responded that I wanted them to know that someone cared. That it was not OK. That I did not want them to hurt. I remember feeling this very strongly.

I also remember many a time when I was a child where my father would be submerged in a mad rage. And I use the word mad as I now consider he had lost his self and sanity. Such was his level of madness he had at one time almost killed my mother. And if I think if he had a gun when he 'lost it' what then? If someone had stepped in would love and compassion have touched his true self through the madness?

Back to the question. This pondering then led me to ask why were people so frequently posing this question. I began to realize that this question kept me in a mental bind/dead end, that saw the violent act in isolation. Could this question, this moral dilemma be in fact a trap which would not help in finding responses to violence? In fact in order to respond to violence and create peaceful loving living maybe what is needed is a different approach. And this could lead to different questions being asked. Could the question itself actually be part of the problem of how violence is seen?

Growing up in a violent family I have only recently began to appreciate how this has given me much insight, with regards to violence. This journey continues and so far has taken over 20 years of searching to understand. And I am sure I have more to learn, more healing will occur and with that further understanding. Key to this learning and discovery is how the violent act follows after a range of non physical violent behaviours. This abuse can come in the form of emotional, psychological and mental communications. The hit is like a confirmation of all that has been before. The violent physical act is like a locking of a door. And it's key is control carved out of fear.

The other main insight I learnt was that after I had become a victim of an abusive relationship was that I had internalised the oppressor/aggressor as well as the victim. Some describe this as a Shadow part. And that this Shadow had two faces both the oppressor and aggressor. Which like a cloaked figure whispers words; giving a warped view on the world. I also realized ~ How else could I have accepted someone else treating me like this if I had not this Shadow inside?. If I had not normalized violence. The healing for me was to see this cycle of violence. To see that I could step outside of the violence. I had choice. I had power.

I think we need to see physical violence as a symptom and not cause. If we do then I think we begin to see that violence is not just a physical act, but in fact part of a much more complex problem which we all can be locked into. Because we are all connected. And because we are all connected then we all have power to create positive change. Physical violence comes after a long history of behaviours which can be as subtle as a thought expressed in word or even a look. It is generational in families and in societies. If we see that violence is not an isolated act done by evil individuals, then we can also see the connections that led to the violence. We there by step out of blame and into sharing responsibility. This is an empowered place to be. A place of believing and knowing that we all can have a positive impact.

Violence is normalized and accepted in our society. Children are taught this at home and in school. The highs of the emotional intensity that we see daily in our press, on the TV, in our films is an addiction covering up pain, loss and isolation. It is deeply dysfunctional that violence is romanticised through endless disaster movies and violent computer games. So many have a need to forget they have a disconnection to true self, that is expressed through the numbing of pain that is created by and creates violence. It can be a vicious cycle.

So when we are given moral dilemmas like this question, I would suggest stepping back and asking why this question is being asked. What might be the hidden agendas? That in fact there is another way in responding which adds to further understanding. That address the causes. Enabling more ways to heal. More ways to step in earlier. More ways to prevent the violence because we will be more equipped to respond, having addressed potential wounds in ourselves and in our own relationships and ultimately in our societies. We can see how all of us can have an affect by sharing ownership and responsibility. We can step outside the duality of them and us. How though it might seem fear has the upper hand ~ healing is possible. We then will be more empowered ourselves and able to support one another, in being in a place of compassion. Out of Love.

Yes it can be painful thawing the ice. But unless we thaw our hearts not only will we not feel the pain inflicted on ourselves and other humans, but also our beautiful nature and planet.

After I had split the two young men up, I heard that they later on went back and started fighting again. This was when I was out of their view. So I leave with this thought what do I choose to focus on. That they continued with their violence or that for that moment they stopped. That they saw that some one cared?

I believe that we create life how we want it. So I believe in the power of love. I believe it is never impossible. I believe it is never too late.

So mote it be.

A link to Gene Sharp whose work has been so influential as has been read by activists in Egypt. The Albert Einstein Institution.
http://www.aeinstein.org/

and a wonderful book:
"Small Acts of Resistance. How Courage, Tenacity, and Ingenuity Can Change the World." Steve Crawshaw & John Jackson.

Turn On Your Light

The new era is already here:
Here the new time begins anew.
The new era happens every day,
Every day is a new world,
A new calender.
All great moments, all great eras,
Are just every moment
And every day writ large.
Thousands of years of loving, failing, killing,
Creating, surprising, oppressing,
And thinking ought now to start
To bear fruit, to deliver their rich harvest.

Will you be at the harvest?
Among the gatherers of the fruits?
Then you must begin today to remake
Your mental and spiritual world,
And join the warriors and the celebrants
Of freedom , realisers of great dreams.

You can't remake the world
Without remaking yourself.
Each new era begins within.
It is an inward event,
With unspected possibilities
For inner liberation.
We could use it to turn on
Our inward lights.
We could use it to even the dark
And negative things positively.
We could use the new era
To clean our eyes,
To see the world differently,
To see ourselves more clearly.
Only free people can make a free world.
Infect the world with your light.
Help fulfil the prophecies.
Press forward the human genius.
Our future is greater than our past.

Ben Okri 1999
Found in Mental Flight.

The Wind One Brilliant Day by Antonio Machado

The wind, one brilliant day, called
to my soul with an odor of jasmine.

"In return for the odor of my jasmine,
I'd like all the odor of your roses"

"I have no roses; all the flowers
in my garden are dead."

"Well then, I'll take the withered petals
and the yellow leaves and the waters of the fountain."

the wind left. And I wept. And I said to myself:
"What have you done to the garden that was entrusted to you?"

translated by Robert Bly

Daphnia pulex

The common water flea, Daphnia pulex, has more genes than any other animal known - including humans scientists have discovered. Photo by Dr P Herbert