Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Home is where the Heart is


"One of the following is true:


  • Every breath you take contains an atom breathed out by Marilyn Monroe

  • There is a liquid that can run uphill

  • You age faster at the top of a building than at the bottom

  • An atom can be in many different places at once, the equivalent of you being in New York and London at the same time

  • The entire human race would fit in the volume of a sugar cub

  • One per cent of the static on a television tuned between stations is the relic of the Big Bang

  • Time travel is not forbidden by the laws of physics

  • A cup of coffee weighs more when it is hot than when it is cold

  • The faster you travel, the slimmer you get.


No, I'm joking. They are all true!" ( 'Quantum Theory Cannot Hurt You' by M. Chown)


Since Friday my attention has been drawn to the same question/dilemma from 3 different sources. First was on Friday http://www.diaryofapsychichealer.com/ and the question whether mythical beings were real. Second was on a Shamanic workshop last Saturday where one attendee was caught in the struggle around questioning whether his experiences were just his imaginings and lastly was today on the blog http://greenmanramblings.blogspot.com/ where the post introduced the experience/idea of being able to commune/communicate and have intimate relationships with plants. So what is real?

I have walked along various disciplines and paths. Some paths I have skipped along. Some I have ventured on briefly, others I return to again and again. These paths have included various disciplines within the vast umbrella of Buddhism, Shamanism, Paganism, Anthropology, Psychology, Psychic studies, New Age, Feminism and Radical Politics. I have found that having this range of explorations creates its own momentum of being open and curious. Discovering new ideas and experiences and finding old ones refreshed and vitalised. The negative is that I can struggle in trying to find parallel contexts and interpretations when visiting these different worlds. The danger or challenge can lead to being misunderstood and at worse marginalised.

If for instance I have an experience under the 'Shamanic' umbrella and I try to share my experience within a Psychological context or Psychic context; there is not necessarily an equivalent experience within those worlds. Even if the experience might be known in the different worlds there is not a shared understanding or language. Not only can this be rather frustrating for both parties but this has created confusion and conflict within myself. Because if certain experiences are misunderstood or marginalisation this can lead to denial of the experience. This is a loss. Loss of the self and the soul's voice. This can even occur with those of non malicious intent. Because we are all conditioned by the environment ~ our families and our societies into belief structures and behaviours. We take them on consciously and unconsciously.

During this weekend I heard from a woman from Native American and European descent ~ Patricia White Buffalo ~ sharing her perspective on prejudice and persecution. She said the persecution of the Native Americans from the White Europeans was foremost about Land ownership. While for the White Europeans on White Europeans ~ Christians persecution of Pagans ~ it was about occupation of our souls ~ beliefs. For this reason White Europeans have more fear around Shamanism. We have more fear buried in our bodies about being in our bodies and are disconnected to the land and Spirit.
 

So this led me to ponder....If you have never known the experience of being in your body grounded and connected, then can you know what you are seeking? I think yes. But it can take time to get to that place of peace. Without being truly present, in one's body, connected to the earth then one is not able to connect with Spirit. One is homeless and isolated. Like a tree the further the roots go down the further the branches reach up.

Not only are we battling against the weight of societies historical oppression, but many of us have and are battling with traumas in childhood. And this is not surprising as both are interlinked for violence whether in the home our outside are reflections of each other. This cocktail blocks our senses. The body shuts down partially or totally some or many senses of smell, taste, hearing, sight and touch. We learn to filter out experience like annoying sounds. They become background noise. Such as the sound of a barking deer in the night which would be an annoyance because we would be kept awake and tired for work. Or like when we discuss law suites with our neighbours because they cut the fence down when it was on their right side not their left. Both sides ignoring the plight of the nesting birds.

So many of us are only partially experiencing and are not fully present then the questions of whether stones feel, do plants have souls, are there faeries at the bottom of the garden, are Unicorns made up fantasies, or do trees sing become ridiculous. Childhood tales. But, what if these experiences were not metaphors, collective unconscious beliefs or superstitions? How can we know the answer when we do not have the understanding, the language and are weighed down by beliefs, and fears of oppression which we carry in our cells and memories? The dilemma and the solution is that this numbness not only protects us from feeling the pain from our own personal and collective histories but also our pleasures, joys and gifts. And solution is found through the gentle breath of compassion, love and trust soflty fanning the flame buried deep in the secret chamber of the heart. I believe this flame is always there. Can never be put out.


Where does magic and science begin and start? How many people does it take for shared experiences to become real and not mass shared hallucinations? We believe there are energy waves that carry information which we don't hear. Because we all turn on our radios and outcomes sounds which we all verify as the same. That's not magic but science. Could it not be both magical and science? Could not our imaginings also be reality? Where are the lines between thought, meaningful stare and words spoken?........


1. Quantum Theory Cannot Hurt You. A Guide to the Universe. By Marcus Chown.

2. Patricia White Buffalo. BeHeavenOnEarth.com

Sunday, 5 February 2012

Colour of Snow




Journey to the Moon

Blanket of snow on ground, sky,

White grey wrap muffling noise.

So stilled, quiet, ready to feel.
Creaking scratch of my eyes.


Heavy in body I arrive.
So this is me remembering childish wonder

How cold is it in space?
Is it colder than the Arctic in midwinder?

Then I remember we walked on the moon and survived.
And didn't die of the cold. Or die of the wonder.

That's if you believe we did actually go to the moon....

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Mistletoe

A holiday postcard circa 1900 from wikipidea

Yesterday evening 5pm misty cold London evening, while being swept along in London Bridge train station crowd; I overheard a woman on her mobile complaining about her friend being 'bah humbug'. I exclaimed to myself 'just coos I don't celebrate Christmas don't assume I am being a 'kill joy'. Ah ha me thought ~ an opportunity for change. For healing.
Like many I have found this time a challenge. It is reminder that I cannot force fit my childhood family into the 'perfect ideal' pictured in Western Society's idea of Christmas. So I have felt lost. Left out in the cold. I have spent Xmas on my own for over 20 years, years I have tried to block from my memory. Far from a time of celebration of being with loved ones a time for appreciation and sharing. I have found myself facing the cul-de-sac labelled 'what is wrong with me'?
And despite feeling envious this has not stopped me appreciating others sharing the joy of each other ~ giving and receiving, nurturing, celebration, gorgeous food, Light and Fun.
But what i don't 'get' is the commercialisation and the ever increasing sell sell of expensive gifts ~ especially for children. There is the pressure to conform to an idea of how a family is to be.
I wonder if I had a different childhood and family would I be thinking the same? Or would I be focusing on the preparations. Looking forward to being with my family even though they do get on my nerves! It would be within acceptable annoyance. And the positives would out way the negatives.
So, I do not want to be linked with 'bah humbug' though I struggle with my own loss of that warmth at this time of dark and cold. Instead of remaining conflicted I begin to realize that yet again as I walk on the edge I have choice. No need to drown in the waters of shame. Nor do I go along with others or 'societies' expectations. I am working on choice. What can, and do I want this time to be. What can it be. So, little by little I dare to be more present. Open to possibility. Because I have loss means I can appreciate so much.

Today I brought mistletoe which is hanging in my doorway. For 2 years I have had a growing awareness to this magical plant. So I choose this as an opportunity to connect more with the 'medicine' and spirit.
Mistletoe's name is anglo-saxon in origin ~ 'mistle' means dung and 'tan' is the word for twig. So mistletoe means dung-on-a-twig (1).
"Shakespeare referred to it as the 'baleful Mistletoe', from the Scandinavian legend the Balder, the God of Peace, was slain with an arrow made of mistletoe. He was restored to life of the request of the other Gods and Goddesses and Mistletoe was afterwards given into the keeping of the Goddess of Love, and it was ordained that anyone who passed under it should receive a kiss, to show the branch had become an emblem of love, and not of hate." (1)
There are various myths such as linking Mistletoe to birds as some believed it grew from birds dung or that due to it not growing from soil it was heaven sent. Many believe it was sacred to the Celtic druids and some believe it was used in shamanic practices. Neither plant or herb. In between ~ a gatekeeper between the worlds.
"Basically: The mistletoe does not care for earth or sky, it grows the way it wants and lingers outside all rhythms and laws of terrestrial growth. Some examples: it does not care for day or night, top or bottom, summer or winter, laws of gravitation, linear laws (spatial extent)." (2)
The name also apparently means "the one that heals everything" (3) ~ powerful medicine in deed. Mistletoe's Medicinal/Remedial Properties and Lore are many: Antispasmodic, cardiac, cytostatic, diuretic, emmengogue, haemostat, hypotensive, narcotic, nervine, stimulant, tonic, vasodilator. (4)
"In 50 C.E., the Greek physician Dioscorides wrote his Materia Medica, establishing himself a place in medical history. As one of the ancient world's most knowledgeable herbalists, Dioscorides found that mistletoe helped cure his patients of external tumors. He wrote that it “has the power to disperse, soften, drawing and assisting tumors of the parotid gland and other lesions…” Some forty or so years later, Pliny the Elder wrote of the treatment of sores and epilepsy with mistletoe in his Natural History. He also described its use in magic and ritual" (4)
In the 1920's Rudolf Steiner became interested in Mistletoe and since then has been used as treatment for Cancer. According to Steinerhealth.org various studies have shown Mistletoe to have several benefits in the treatment of Cancer. (5)
It's magical properties include drawing love, protection and banishing evil spirits. Not surprising then it is meant to aid in peaceful sleep. (6)
Mistletoe from my investigations I realize, has been and remains powerful; still integral to so many's ritual even though not everyone might be aware of it's healing properties or its links with myth, history, folklore and spiritual beliefs. It is linked with Winter Solstice ~ the Pagan New Year. Time to remember and celebrate new life.

So for me what can I celebrate. I am not out in the cold. I am no longer homeless either physically or emotionally. As the shortest day draws near I remember the richness and abundance that lies warm in the dark earth. I am reminded of the abundance in my life ~ so many gifts that are part of me which I share with others, the rich memories that have given birth to dear connections and shared loves. So I give thanks to the gifts of Mistletoe that aid me in my dreams of past, present and future. I acknowledge and ask for ingenuity, strength, endurance protection, abundance, creativity and love.