"Indigenous people are indigenous because there are no machines between them and their gods. There are no machines barring the door to the Spirit World where one can enter in and listen to what is going on within at a deep level, participating in the vibration of Nature. Where machines speak in place of gods, people are hard put to listen, even more hard to put to vibrate with the realm of nature"
Malidome Some 'Ritual, Power, Healing and community'.

Aluna - Heart of the World - Kogi Tribe - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnLX9pdKuEg

Lost in Translation

It has been some considerable time since I wrote in my Blog. And that too was at Full Moon. And I choose to check in on the day after the last teaching day of my 2 year School of Intuition Healing (SIH) Course. I will roughly have 1 month till the practical exam and then...well new beginnings.

I have found with studying with SIH that the mechanics of working Spiritually and psychically are explored, defined and given clear instructions on 'how to'. The process is de-mystified. Tools are sharpened up. This deepens the experience. Making the Healing more specific, acurate and profound. And this I realise goes against the approach in many esoteric schools - especially ones which have degrees of initiation. For the teaching that is shared in the SIH is about making Spirituality and Healing accessible to more. And it does not make the 'magic' less. Which I think is the fear many would have of this approach.

I found myself yet again, after the class trying to explain to another student that Shamanism did not mean just working with Nature, Earth, Elementals etc. Shamanism is working with all realms. That in my understanding from my explorations; what is taught at SIH and other Spiritual/Psychic contexts - following on from the teachings of Alice Bailey and/or Madam Blavatsky (19th C and 20 C Western Esoteric Schools), is in fact a remembering, a reclaiming, an evolution from what was practiced and known in Ancient Shamanism to the present day. Of course I cannot prove this hypothesis. I can only say that I experience this from a 'knowing place' and from my own memories from Past lives. Also from what I have understood from my various investigations - books I've read on the subject and indigenous people who are Shamans who I have met and have shared their own ancestral beliefs and traditions.

This evolution is I think necessary. And I believe as does Carolyn Myss; that many more people are now being called to be Healers - and I use that term in a wide sense to include people who are artists for instance or people who embody their Spirituality in their interactions in the wider world/contexts in a range of roles. And many of those people are living part of society. They have jobs and families, children etc. And slowly bit by bit more people are exploring different Spiritual approaches. I think as more people expand from the limits of the Head space to a more expansive Heart Space - then we all will have less need for divisions/boxes/labels. I haven't yet met another student at SIH who has explored or experienced Shamanic context or WitchCraft like me. However, my fellow SIH students are interested, curious and open minded and I try to share my understanding. Which at times can be a challenge as I can struggle with translation. As I did tonight with my fellow students Guide. But this experience was an expansive one. And gave me a further appreciation and understanding as to what resonates with me. It is good to be stretched so we grow as we move beyond our comfort zones.

The voice of my heart

 Oct 2012

Death is not in the nature of things; it is the nature of things. But what dies is the form. The matter is immortal.  ~ John Fowles

"Heidegger, the twentieth-century German philospher, clarifies this paradox. He preposed two models of existence: the everyday mode and the ontological mode (from onto, "being", and the suffix ~logy, "study of"). In your everyday mode, you are entirely absorbed in your surroundings, and you marvel at how things are in the world; whereas in the ontological mode, you focus on and appreciate the miracle of "being" itself and marvel that things area, that you are.
There is a crucial difference between how things are and that things are. When absorbed in everyday mode, you turn toward such evanescent distrations as physical appearance, style, possessions, or prestige. In the ontological mode, by contrast, you are not only more aware of existance and mortality and life's other inmutable characteristics but also more anxious and more primed to make significant changes. You are prompted to grapple with your fundamental human responsibility to construct an authentic life of engagement, connectivity, meaning, and self-fulfillment." p33-34, Staring at the Sun by Irvin Yalom.

Could it be possible to experience life as part of Death and Death as part of life in everyday. That in fact in embracing the other/diversity one does not loose individuality. Could this be what some describe as the third way? A uniting of the everyday with awareness. Some would call this blaspheme. For Spirit  would not appear to be locked away.    

When we face our mortality we become mindful of being. We become aware that each moment passes. As each cell is born it will die. To be replaced by another. As it is not possible to hold onto each breath. We all will reach that moment of our last breath.

Living in the city it is hard to remember the connection with the cycles of life. No longer is food dug from earth or meat an animal killed.

Still I find myself naked as I wander through the forest. Winding. I follow the root, the branch, the rustling leaves, warmth of earth and smell of green. Some would call this a dream.

“Whether we realize it or not, we are all dreaming the world into being. What we're engaging in is not the sleeping act we're so familiar with, but rather a type of dreaming we do with our eyes open. When we're unaware that we share the power to co-create reality with the universe itself, that power slips away from us, causing our dream to become a nightmare. We begin to feel we're the victims of an unknown and frightening creation that we're unable to influence, and events seem to control and trap us. That only way to end this dreadful reality is to awaken to the fact that it too is a dream - and then recognize our ability to write a better story, one that the universe will work with us to manifest" p1, Courageous Dreaming by Alberto Villoldo

Another strand is loosened. I unravel. All those knots stitches that pulled me together. Shaped into being. I am falling apart. Asking who the hell or is it heaven on earth am I?

And so I realize that my mind is small. Fearful. It has been telling me stories of the ultimate fear in death. Being lost.

"But to be a person means to be faced every minute with the decision to live or die, to accept the invitations for more vitality or to decline them out of fear or lethargy". p35, Dark Nights of the Soul by Thomas Moore.

I begin to realise that my mind fears the unknown which is life. Being alive. Being with possibility. Being with beauty. Being open. Not in control. Being with the infinite that exists outside and inside.  To celebrate diversity. To value life. To dare to crack open the heart. Some call this Love. Some call this Divine. Some call this being alive.

It with this connection I frame this passage between the picture which gave birth to colour ~ And my new birthed drum made with blood earth. Dragon blood. Held by the wisdom of Yew and Beech. Witnessed by two magical gatekeepers of the Crafting in Spirit ~ 'Shamanic Druidry'

I call this the voice of my heart

Letting Go Letting In

I have planned many journeys. Bought the guide books, heard the stories. Analysed the ordnance survey maps. Gazed on photographs. I have believed the weather forecasts trying to hide from rain. I have imagined that only certain parts would challenge me. That others would be more beautiful. I have assumed that if not marked on the map it would not exist.

Dancing between desire and fear to be open to discovery and surprise. The biggest surprise time and time again is realising that though I have chosen to walk a path. I in fact cannot know what I will feel. What I will learn. What I will experience. 

I can set out wanting to find bluebells only to find an abundance of yellow flowered gorse followed by not one or two but four blisters. Or in my fear of the urgency of a horse wanting to speak to me ~  I would be lost having to walk a main road instead of a wooded path. With blisters burning hot as I felt so alone as I realised I had walked miles in the wrong direction.
Finally I would arrive at my destination, a bus stop with the growing realisation that I had learnt about listening. Listening to my fear instead of running so that I could speak and hear the horse. That I could talk with my body so that the blisters did not burst and did not burn with too much pain.

Each of my journeys have had such surprises. A richness. Bitter and sweet medicine that has healed those parts which I need to let go of. Those parts which I have cherished. I have learnt that abundance can only exist if it has space. Where there is life there must be death. Beginnings and endings. It is all part of life. And so it is with sadness and joy that I reflect on my last journey. With the realisation that with every exploration and discovery I cast away the maps, the books, photographs and shed the old stories. And I learn again to walk bare foot on the earth.

Silence before Infinite Possibilities

Above: Nikola Tesla is the father of high frequency high voltage electricity which is used today in radio and other communication devices ~ 1899 Nikola Tesla sits below the Tesla Coil in his Colorado Spring Laboratory. The coil creates millions of volts of electricity with a frequency rate of 100,000 alterations per second.(1)

***

If we understood the power of our thoughts,
we would guard them more closely.
If we understood the awesome power of our words,
we would prefer silence to almost anything negative.
In our thoughts and words we create
our own weaknesses and our own strengths.
Our limitations and joys begin in our hearts.
We can always replace negative with positive.

~ Bettie Eadie (from 'Embraced By the Light') ~

***
By choosing your thoughts,
and by selecting which emotional currents you will release
and which you will reinforce,
you determine the quality of your Light.
You determine the effects that you will have upon others,
and the nature of the
experiences of your life.

~ Gary Zukav - from "Seat Of The Soul" ~ (2)

1. Telsa Memorial Society of New York http://www.teslasociety.com/

2. Pearls of Wisdom http://www.sapphyr.net/index.htm

Home is where the Heart is

"One of the following is true:

• Every breath you take contains an atom breathed out by Marilyn Monroe


• There is a liquid that can run uphill


• You age faster at the top of a building than at the bottom


• An atom can be in many different places at once, the equivalent of you being in New York and London at the same time


• The entire human race would fit in the volume of a sugar cub


• One per cent of the static on a television tuned between stations is the relic of the Big Bang


• Time travel is not forbidden by the laws of physics


• A cup of coffee weighs more when it is hot than when it is cold


• The faster you travel, the slimmer you get.

No, I'm joking. They are all true!" ( 'Quantum Theory Cannot Hurt You' by M. Chown)

Since Friday my attention has been drawn to the same question/dilemma from 3 different sources. First was on Friday http://www.diaryofapsychichealer.com/ and the question whether mythical beings were real. Second was on a Shamanic workshop last Saturday where one attendee was caught in the struggle around questioning whether his experiences were just his imaginings and lastly was today on the blog http://greenmanramblings.blogspot.com/ where the post introduced the experience/idea of being able to commune/communicate and have intimate relationships with plants. So what is real?

I have walked along various disciplines and paths. Some paths I have skipped along. Some I have ventured on briefly, others I return to again and again. These paths have included various disciplines within the vast umbrella of Buddhism, Shamanism, Paganism, Anthropology, Psychology, Psychic studies, New Age, Feminism and Radical Politics. I have found that having this range of explorations creates its own momentum of being open and curious. Discovering new ideas and experiences and finding old ones refreshed and vitalised. The negative is that I can struggle in trying to find parallel contexts and interpretations when visiting these different worlds. The danger or challenge can lead to being misunderstood and at worse marginalised.

If for instance I have an experience under the 'Shamanic' umbrella and I try to share my experience within a Psychological context or Psychic context; there is not necessarily an equivalent experience within those worlds. Even if the experience might be known in the different worlds there is not a shared understanding or language. Not only can this be rather frustrating for both parties but this has created confusion and conflict within myself. Because if certain experiences are misunderstood or marginalisation this can lead to denial of the experience. This is a loss. Loss of the self and the soul's voice. This can even occur with those of non malicious intent. Because we are all conditioned by the environment ~ our families and our societies into belief structures and behaviours. We take them on consciously and unconsciously.

During this weekend I heard from a woman from Native American and European descent ~ Patricia White Buffalo ~ sharing her perspective on prejudice and persecution. She said the persecution of the Native Americans from the White Europeans was foremost about Land ownership. While for the White Europeans on White Europeans ~ Christians persecution of Pagans ~ it was about occupation of our souls ~ beliefs. For this reason White Europeans have more fear around Shamanism. We have more fear buried in our bodies about being in our bodies and are disconnected to the land and Spirit. 

So this led me to ponder....If you have never known the experience of being in your body grounded and connected, then can you know what you are seeking? I think yes. But it can take time to get to that place of peace. Without being truly present, in one's body, connected to the earth then one is not able to connect with Spirit. One is homeless and isolated. Like a tree the further the roots go down the further the branches reach up.

Not only are we battling against the weight of societies historical oppression, but many of us have and are battling with traumas in childhood. And this is not surprising as both are interlinked for violence whether in the home our outside are reflections of each other. This cocktail blocks our senses. The body shuts down partially or totally some or many senses of smell, taste, hearing, sight and touch. We learn to filter out experience like annoying sounds. They become background noise. Such as the sound of a barking deer in the night which would be an annoyance because we would be kept awake and tired for work. Or like when we discuss law suites with our neighbours because they cut the fence down when it was on their right side not their left. Both sides ignoring the plight of the nesting birds.

So many of us are only partially experiencing and are not fully present then the questions of whether stones feel, do plants have souls, are there faeries at the bottom of the garden, are Unicorns made up fantasies, or do trees sing become ridiculous. Childhood tales. But, what if these experiences were not metaphors, collective unconscious beliefs or superstitions? How can we know the answer when we do not have the understanding, the language and are weighed down by beliefs, and fears of oppression which we carry in our cells and memories? The dilemma and the solution is that this numbness not only protects us from feeling the pain from our own personal and collective histories but also our pleasures, joys and gifts. And solution is found through the gentle breath of compassion, love and trust soflty fanning the flame buried deep in the secret chamber of the heart. I believe this flame is always there. Can never be put out.

Where does magic and science begin and start? How many people does it take for shared experiences to become real and not mass shared hallucinations? We believe there are energy waves that carry information which we don't hear. Because we all turn on our radios and outcomes sounds which we all verify as the same. That's not magic but science. Could it not be both magical and science? Could not our imaginings also be reality? Where are the lines between thought, meaningful stare and words spoken?........

1. Quantum Theory Cannot Hurt You. A Guide to the Universe. By Marcus Chown.

2. Patricia White Buffalo. BeHeavenOnEarth.com

Bee Dancer : Bee Queen

Becoming Ferrell & remembering ~ I too like this Land have lost parts of myself

Learning to Listen

Blackthorn ~ Prunus spinosa

Over the years I have been learning to listen to where my attention is drawn. This can come through any of the senses. I have also found that not only are my senses drawn in a particular direction but this also accompanies a strong desire or attraction. It can feel akin to feeling hungry, to having a nagging thought that doesn't go away or wanting to listen to a particular piece of music. When we have those desires hopefully we don't dismiss or ignore them. I have learnt that so many gifts come from including these messages.

This late August into early September I have noticed Blackthorn with their blue/purple berries ~ otherwise known as sloe which can be made into Jam, Wine or a health tonic. Why had I not been aware of this tree and their fruits before? Unfamiliar they looked edible and I had a strong desire to eat them. But I thought better not... Just in case. I put my curiosity aside. However, the curiosity grew into fascination and I kept seeing more. I looked the tree up and identified it as Blackthorn. On my return to home I searched some more. And as I found out the properties of Blackthorn realized that there is a reason why I was drawn to this tree at this specific time. And I am thankful that I have learnt to listen to those messages. Years ago these messages were more often a faint whisper and infrequent. Now they come louder, more diverse and as such are not out of the ordinary.

I have trusted in my process of listening. However, I have found in today's world this way is not so easily trusted. From school I was taught that to learn meant memorising other's interpretations and quoting them in order to pass the tests. My own interpretations were discouraged especially if they did not fit. Schooling was not about learning to perceive, to be inquisitive, to ask questions. It was about becoming memory banks. Unfortunately I found this also carried on into Art College where only certain styles and philosophical approaches were acceptable.

It is a delicate balance between following, learning tools, techniques and being prescriptive. We now have an abundance of books that illustrate the ways, whys, because, hows, whens etc. We have increasing number of competing workshop leaders who offer courses that lead to certifications. It is wonderful that there is so much choice, experience, knowledge and more acceptance of Esoteric, Metaphysical, Alternative Spirituality and Pagan fields. However, I would also add that an over reliance on following a style of learning which is more 'painting by numbers' can stifle the magic and mystery to discovery of each person's unique individuation process. There is a danger of our own selves and process being lost in the experts experience.

In the past I too often found that I became lost in anothers journey resulting in feelings of intimidation and inadequacy. When entering anothers neatly summarized presentation of their journey we don't see the full process that person underwent. We might not realize what wonders of creativity lies in our Secret Garden that follow the dark nights of our soul. Getting lost is part of the journey, in fact is a necessity. To quote C. G. Jung " The right way to wholeness is made up of fateful detours and wrong turnings". For me a wise teacher is one that does not live by this old model of delivering lots of techniques, tasks, models and theory ~ that can prove their value. But who facilities space for others to explore and be held in that process. Many are speaking of 2012 the year where many will awaken. I believe this is about acknowledging where we are already. It is not the few leading the many.

Learning to listen for me is about discerning. I have found that I frequently discard layers of mis-information so that I can tune into the deeper messages. Is there another voice that says eat some spinach and not more chocolate?! Or "Cross to the others side of the road NOW!" which happened to me twice where upon not listening I was set upon by a gang and harrassed by another the other time. Now when I get a voice out of the blue ~ I must remember to listen! I felt confused by my fascination for this tree. What part of my response could I trust; with its dark twisted bark and huge thorns with shiny blue berries and deep glossy green leaves. I felt a feeling of being held through connecting with it's sturdiness, resilience and tenacity. Were the berries ripe to eat? Would I need to cook them? I needed to be respectful in my approach. If this tree was person it would be like an old man with short temper when his words were not listened to carefully. With many wonderful stories while sitting smoking his pipe by the fire-side his pockets bulging with old stories of mysterious paths and wonders hidden amongst rock, bone and wood. His old eyes sparkling in the dim light full of life and vibrancy. His stick hard as rock ready to beat back any scurrilous stranger. As his smoke created strange shapes around his face his laughter cracked inside the fire stirring the embers. He could be seen simultaneously sitting at the fire that was slow burning while at the same time sitting on the cliffs edge watching the sun rise and fall. Easily overlooked and misunderstood by many who are in too much haste and impatience.

Blackthorn is the brother tree to its sister Hawthorn. Feared because of it's nature. It's magical medicine can be seen through observing it's apparence and it's medicinal properties.

Blackthorn the first to flower before other trees and whose berries are last to ripen in Autumn. The thorns if you are cut by them can become septic. The wood is extremely hardy. Blackthorn has many medicinal properties and which include boosting the immune system as well as being a cleanser/purifier. Sloe berries are very tonic bitters. They are astringent, and stimulate the metabolism, clean the blood, and are used as a laxative and diuretic. They help with indigestion, eczema, herpes, allergies, colds, catarrh, neurosis, weak heart, kidney stones, skin, bladder, and prostrate problems. They disperse toxins.10 In 17th and 18th Century, sloes were brewed as a purgative to treat “fluxes in the belly.”(The Spirit of Trees, page 187)“The fruit and leaves of Blackthorn contain tannins, organic acids, sugars and vitamin C. Steeped in boiling water, the flowers have a mild diuretic, tonic and laxative properties. The dried fruits are used to treat bladder, kidney and stomach disorders. The liquid from the boiled leaves can be used as a mouthwash for sore throat, tonsillitis and laryngitis. It is also good for circulations, blood strengthening, and nutrient absorption.” (The Wisdom of Trees, page 127)

Green Man Tree Essences: “Blackthorn - Circulation. Helps absorption of energies necessary for life. Stabilizes emotions. Brings hope and joy. Stimulating.”

“The leaves can be boiled into a decoction that, once cooled, is an excellent mouthwash and gargle for those suffering from tonsillitis or laryngitis. It can also be used as a soothing eye bath. A tea made from the powdered bark has a calming effect on the nerves.” (Celtic Tree Mysteries, page 166)

"Blackthorn is a guardian, keeper of the shadows, holder of the darkest secrets." "Helps us to bring light where there is darkness." (Tree Angel Oracle, p56)

Sources for Magical, Health and Healing Properties found in:

http://www.druidry.org/

Tree Wisdom by Jacquellne Memory Paterson

Tree Angel Oracle by Fred Hageneder & Anne Heng

Awaken to Life

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait." Paulo Coelho Facebook
***

“Why has our society morphed into a society of addicts? You may balk at that question, thinking, “I’m not an addict,” but if that is your response, then you need to redefine your understanding of what qualifies as an addiction. In addition to substances, addictions include attitudes and actions. Addictions are, in effect, a choice to remain unconscious in an age rapidly moving toward a new paradigm of consciousness.
So, what makes us naturally inclined toward addictions? Whether alcohol, drugs, sex, technology, Internet communication/emails, gossiping, power, cruelty, exercise, or food, the fact is we are by nature addicts. We are always seeking some way, some method, some means through which we can escape our ordinary state of consciousness, if only for thirty minutes of distraction or a temporary physical buzz brought on by a glass of wine or a candy bar no one sees us eat, or drugs that make us feel good. We can’t stop ourselves – and that is a fact.
Addiction is a stage of consciousness that every single human being progresses through"
Caroline Myss http://myss.com/news/archive/2011/081711.htm

***
“Whether we realize it or not, we are all dreaming the world into being. What we're engaging in is not the sleeping act we're so familiar with, but rather a type of dreaming we do with our eyes open. When we're unaware that we share the power to co-create reality with the universe itself, that power slips away from us, causing our dream to become a nightmare. We begin to feel we're the victims of an unknown and frightening creation that we're unable to influence, and events seem to control and trap us. That only way to end this dreadful reality is to awaken to the fact that it too is a dream - and then recognize our ability to write a better story, one that the universe will work with us to manifest" Alberto Villoldo

***
"In The Conference of the Birds, Persian poet Farid Din Attar wrote this about suffering:

If crazy dervishes behave like this
It’s not for you to take their words amiss;
If they seem drunk to you, control your scorn–
Their lives are painful, savage, and forlorn;
They must endure a lifetime’s hopelessness
And every moment brings some new distress–
Don’t meddle with their conduct, don’t reprove
Those given up to madness and to love.
You would excuse them–nothing is more sure–
If you could share the darkness they endure.

Those of us who work at spiritual and psychological growth will encounter great darkness along the way. It is no coincidence that one of the first archetypes one meets in the individuation process is the Shadow Archetype. All that we’d hidden from ourselves, all that we shove down and away, all that we project on others and hate in them–that’s what we find in the darkness. It can be overwhelming. A person in the phase of personal work can become overwhelmed and lose heart, just as a person encountering grief, sorrow, stress, and other dark experiences can lose heart without hope or encouragement.
Hope is knowing that the moon will return, and even its most feeble light will illuminate the world. "
From the Darkness ~ The Third Eve Blog ~ https://eve3.wordpress.com/
***
"Authentic relationship with darkness and unknowing usually brings about a shamanic death (the alchemical nigredo). It is not for the faint~ hearted, and it's way beyond the ego's fantasies, attachments, or ideas of grandeur. It includes experiences of 'hell', as well as 'heaven', as we attempt to find optimal relationship with the flame. Jung found that a victory for the Self always included a defeat for the ego, an experience we are sure to have is seeking alchemical renewal." Monika Wikman ~ Pregnant Darkness.

***
There would have been a further inclusion to this post from Carolyn Myss talk on Spiritual Madness if I could summarise her talk which of course I can not! She spoke of the challenging times we are living in which the Mystical path that was once for the few ~ who separated themselves from ordinary way of life ~ has now evolved to being experienced by the many who do not separate themselves from ordinary living. We are evolving fast. Carolyn Myss speaks of the necessity for the Dark Night of the Soul as we strive to integrate a strong psychological Self with the Spiritual Oneness; which is about letting go of the individualism and ego materialistic drivers. She suggests that in today's Western Society Spiritualism has even become a commodity. Where the idea of reaching our Spiritual enlightenment can be dictated by our egos. We bargain with God expecting rewards on our terms, for our efforts.

Carolyn Myss highlights how much of a challenge it is to be on the mystical path while bringing up families and working to earn a living, instead of living in an ashram or retreat. For, when we ask the Divine to speak to us we invite Chaos. We ask for those props/addictions we use to escape from our Soul and Life, to be rattled. We then find those systems of thought and habit no longer work. So we look outside and where are our answers? We must look inside; into the darkness and the unknown for 'The light at the end of the tunnel'. However, there is one myth that needs to be dismissed. There is not just the one Dark Night of the Soul that we must journey.

When I listened to her talk I reflected on how this mystical experience is not just being experienced by individuals on their own but due to living life with others; their journeys are being felt by those around them. The affect is rippling inwardly and outwardly. Those of us on spiritual paths are coming together to validate, learn remember and connect. I am experiencing how we are re-learning to share this journey with ourselves and each other. Integral to this is not just remembering a spiritual language but creating a new way of experience and co-creating. This co-creating is deeply healing. Is becoming and being more conscious and alive. Speaking from our Soul. Soul Speak.

The above quotes I have chosen as they speak to me at this point of my journey at a time where I am questioning how, why, and/or when I speak. There are times images and/or sound can fulfil experience more than words. Though we/many may speak the same language, at the same time and place in history. We can be deceived into thinking that we understand ourselves and each other fully, not just from a mind space but also body and soul. I think one of my primary senses is visual and as such I believe I speak words from a primary visual space, which might differ from another who functions more from another sense or more from a mind space.

When the Soul speaks it is in deeper language that though rarer is accessible; and if one has the courage to release control ~ can fully experience. Poetry for me can be a medium that though is of word, is magical because it is many bridges between the Mind~Body~Soul between the unconscious and conscious. It has been described as food for the Soul. It creeps/crawls/walks/runs/skips on the edge. It does not just speak or even shout ~ it Sings.

At such times when a person is in transition. Between stations unsure of the destination, country or landscape. I speak both in the physical and metaphysical. Soul Speak not only describes but also co-creates. Soul is a tear drop from Spirit. Our journey/the track we are on is not just a to b. Many of us are aware of this when we experience Déjà vu; an opening in our consciousness of an awareness that we have been here before. This is different to that of premonition which predicts the future. Déjà vu is a meeting of time and worlds at that moment.

The journey of the Soul is not a clear staged journey from Earth below to Heaven above. To be followed by a guide book as we tread well-worn steps up the mountain with clearly marked stages and stations, with refreshments and signed lovely views. The journey of the Soul asks us to fully awaken to Life. To dance with muddied feet so dead skin is peeled away to reveal tender bark. True Soul is experienced through a greening of nature, a returning to Source. The Well of Life that lies behind dark walls of the hidden garden. There is a door to this garden but the Key. The Key is our Heart.

Along the way there are guides. Some share riddles. Some will lead us into traps. Some will share gifts to aid us along our way. All are Spirit sent. Even the devils. As the saying goes "Our worst teachers are our best teachers". There is another way to walk other than the even bland world, with muted dulled senses where we inhabit the Masks of Safety. Behind which our demons cry out, even though they kept saying yes this is the right way! You will be OK.

Not fully Awakened to Life. We travel a smooth road that is never dark. So eager to have our way shown. Lightened up. Safe. We wipe out the Stars our birth place. Not fully open to mystery. A life shallow limited to surprises. We dare not swim in waters that are deep, afraid of beings we can't quite make out let alone understand. I would therefore ask people to put away their mobile tracking phone maps, when walking in the countryside. Don't do it! Take a paper map if you must. Allow your inner Divine child to discover and adventure. Trust. Drink in that wonder, joy and delight. Be intoxicated but not drunk and not addicted; but fully Awakened to Life. Laugh with gurgling wonder and hiccup.
***

Peace Warrior, Sacred Fool, Wounded Healer

In the past I have labelled myself as not having the capacity to communicate or understand due to being dyslexic. In doing so I deprived myself of the power to speak. For years I limited my vocabulary for fear of mispelling. For fear of being misunderstood or being laughed at. For it is common for those with dyslexia to mix up/exchange similar sounding words. However, I have more recently realized the upside of this blurring, created meanings which I hadn't expected! I then realized that this is a great tool for learning and being creative. So coming from this place of seeing words as an organic evolving process I have been asking ~ Can a Warrior be Peaceful? Can a Fool be Sacred. Can a Healer have wounds?

A friend of mine flagged up this wonderful resource: http://citizensoulpower.com/ following an enquiry we have been having the phrase Peaceful Warrior came up. So I went to the page Spirit Warrior where upon there was a list of all the individuals who made such a difference. People like Gandhi, Martin Luther King. I found myself thinking how an individual has the power to do and make so much positive difference. And I was aware how often I have put people up on pedestals so as to limit my own power and potential. I have said to myself there was something unique about them. They were born special. Or like E.Tolle and others like him awoke to awareness in a flash. What they did was extra-ordinary. They are unique individuals. Not 'like the rest of us'.

However I was also reminded of the occasions that I have dared to step out of my own comfort zone, and respond or act beyond what I or others expected. This has created wonderful experiences and occurrences. Sometimes in ways that I could not have imagined. And sometimes this has come from me daring to do something in advance, and other times has happened in the moment. But at all times I was daring to be open to possibility. Daring to be open. To be alive.

For instance I have on many occasions stepped outside of my front door with the intent to smile at people I do not know. I have not only watched at how often people smile back. But I also watch how often I can dare not to care whether this smile is given back. So it is more about giving than receiving. I was daring to see people not as strangers but as people who are like me. I also noticed that in daring to step out of my comfort zone ~ I was daring myself to seem different in my own eyes or others. Daring to be seem silly or foolish. I was inviting the Sacred Fool. Who is in fact courageous.

So for me being a Peaceful Warriors has strong links with the archetype of the Sacred Fool. The Fool who can speak the unspeakable. Who reveals hidden truths. Hidden Treasure. Who reveals wisdom through laughter and joy. The Fool who dares to be different. Dances on the edge. Dances in chaos and creativity. As in the Tarot Card the Fool dares to listen to the dog that nips at his heals and leaps off the edge.

In the Shambhala Buddhist tradition Warrior is referred to as daring to be fully awake. Daring to be open and vulnerable. Connected to our heart. Being authentic is one of the first steps of this process.

As I experience time speeding up. Synchronises abounding. 2012 galloping nearer. With the escalation of world events mirroring the growing awareness for change. I understand this evolutionary shift is an internal and external process. It is circular. We are at a turning point for ourselves and our planet where we need to embrace change. With change comes the possibility for fear; because it is the unknown. But with change also comes the potential for growth, expansion, creativity, healing. All of which gives an opportunity to be in the moment now. And not to wait for another/others to live dreams hopes and aspirations for us. Waiting for the 'perfect time' to be 'more sorted' 'more healed' 'less tired'. In fact all those stories are ways of remaining small. Fear of being vulnerable and alive in the moment.

So maybe this new evolutionary shift where I am hearing it is time for people to evolve into higher vibrations. Maybe another way of looking at this is through another phrase ~ Wounded Healer. Maybe it's not about hierarchy and who will be more evolved than others? For we are all healers. Maybe it's not about having that flash of light, being healed and then going out and doing what we dreamed. But that the flash of light is taking that leap to discover our true selves. Dare to be awkward, nervous, 'get it wrong'. The Fool can seem childlike. S/he understands that growing pains are part of the process. The Fool has an open heart. Is trusting and joyful. This enables her/him to take that leap of faith. While at the same time Accepting where s/he is.

So dare we leap off the edge into the unknown? Be open hearted, be vulnerable and invite the Sacred Fool. Dare we sit with our wounds and in doing so be healed and be healers? Be Wounded Healers. Be Peace Warriors and dare to comit to life.

For to truly comit to life is to celebrate and care with tender open hearts all life ~ in and through Love. To act from a place of Peace. Out of Love protect life. Be life affirming. Be alive. That is courageous. To Be a Peace Warrior.

We are enough as we are. Through allowing our 'minds to drop down to our hearts anything and everything is possible."

Take that leap! Be Courageous. It's Spring!

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Be fully awake if you want to dream ~ Paulo Coelho

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Finding Treasure where you Least Expect

I wish in future I can cherish each moment in the moment. In doing so I will be able to fully experience. I will not be living out of regret.

How often when something or someone seems so vibrant so strong they can be suddenly be gone. I can find it hard to believe that all is transient. Not to focus on the Loss but instead focus on all that I have experienced. To celebrate and enjoy.

What set this particular train of feeling and thought in motion, was that my local charity shop has had it's management change hands. And the manager was incredibly significant. He was in the tradition of British Eccentric. Wealthy and with that came an ease of behaving. He was I think a member of another wonderful tradition of artists. Incredible intense. Incredibly creative. And at times deliciously non PC! With a gift of story telling so that in every telling the story became more dramatic. I was never sure of what was 'the reality' which was rather liberating and refreshing!

In his shop all and everyone was welcome and included. I had the experience that it was a place where if people dared they could be what they wished. They could try on a role or costume. On one momentous day I met a Transsexual who literally spent the day trying on women's clothes asking advice from Stephan the Manager, me and Adam Ant who ran into the shop seeking refuge from his nightmares. On that same day I was helping out behind the counter as the young lady who usually helped out, took exception to Adam and walked out. Shortly after a woman came in and ended up getting a psychic reading from Hazel the resident witch; otherwise known as Elizabeth or Silver Fox. Due to having her dog stolen.

That day was like a Reclaiming 7 day WitchCamp intensive ~ compressed into 1 day. And it took me quite sometime to recover from such a high intensity of experience! For Stephan ~ well this was not quite his average day but I imagine not that extraordinary.

He created a community. On entering the shop he would introduce everyone to that person. And whatever name he chose was your name! Over the years the shop got fuller and fuller with more donations, more people and the walls covered with pictures, photos, poems and mementos. And the shop displays were wonderful. People's discarded 'junk' could be transformed into a rich diverse delicious display. It was a treasure trove. It was a place where he was the Grand Master the Warlock as he loved to declare. And the funny thing is, even though I had the sneaking suspicion he thought he wasn't. He was in fact a Mage! Because for me he did transform. He did create a space where so much more was possible. An Alchemist in your local shop. How subversive is that!

I have known him for over 10 years ~ during which he has moved from charity shop to charity shop within this vicinity. This last 5 years he spent at my local charity shop. He gave me so much. And he would say time and time again how much I gave him.

However he moved on without me having a chance to say goodbye or to find out where he is going next. And for me it was a shock. I knew something was up coos the shop had been closed 'for refurbishment' for ages. Today I had a free Saturday and went in. It had been stripped bare. With a rather nervy new manager behind the counter. With only 2 customers. And the walls a bland white with only a few items clearly priced. Not to be enjoyed and/or to be part of creating an experience of sharing and community. Just things to be sold on in an ordinary shop. A place of transience. Of things people have discarded. Not a place for the ordinary to be extraordinary.

For me the timing in which I saw this charity shop ~ now an empty space ~ comes at a time when I am experiencing the UK government speaking of 'Big Society'. While at the same time wanting to sell of forests and get rid of Public Libraries. Wanting to strip away so much richness, so much diversity, so much creativity. Was to say the least sad.

So this is a big thank you to Stephan which I imagine is one of many names. I wish you safe travels, happiness and peace. What you created is in my heart. And because your vision was shared, this can be re-created by many because you shared so much.

Grail

Tenderness

"If you search for awakened heart, if you put your hand through your rib cage and feel for it, there is nothing there except for tenderness. You feel sore and soft, and if you open your eyes to the rest of the world, you feel tremendous sadness. This kind of sadness doesn't come from being mistreated. You don't feel sad because someone has insulted you or you feel impoverished. Rather, this experience of sadness is unconditioned. It occurs because your heart is completely exposed. There is no skin or tissue covering it; it is pure raw meat. Even if a tiny mosquito lands on it, you feel so touched. Your experience is raw and tender and so personal.
The genuine heart of sadness comes from feeling that your nonexistent heart is full. You would like to spill your heart's blood, give your heart to others. For the warrior, this experience of sad and tender heart is what gives birth to fearlessness. Conventionally, being fearless means that you are not afriad or that, if someone hits you, you will hit him back. However, we are not talking about that street-fighter level of fearlessness. Real fearlessness is the product of tenderness. It comes from letting the world tickle your heart, your raw and beautiful heart"

Shambhala ~ The Sacred Path of the Warrior by Chogyam Trungpa, p45-46
http://www.shambhala.org/

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com

"They believed what made them vulnerable made them beautiful"

"Our lives are a collection of stories, truths about who we are, what we believe, where we come from, how we can let go of what people think, and own our story, we gain access to our worthiness ~ the feeling that we are enough just as we are, and that we are worthy of love and belonging" Dr Brene Brown ~ 'The Hustle for Worthiness' DVD

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability Video on TED.com

http://www.brenebrown.com/welcome

The Great Dream

Goddess created humanity so she could know herself.

And so creation is a continous flowering into being.

"The deepest strata of the underworld include a state of being called "Sacred Land", also known as the Earth of Light of Blessed Isles. This state houses the Dreamer within the Land, often known as Lucifer, the sun at midnight, and the star within the stone...Faery Seership is concerned with reaching deep into and through the substance of the surface world to the state where the Lord of Light holds the original vision of the earth and her creatures in the sacred land. The Faery seer seeks to be as one with the Dreamer and to open this sacred land into the surface world thereby healing and re-vivifying it...The sacred land is the original vision of the world in its balanced and paradisiacal state. This state of being surfaces in all natural areas but is stronger in some..."the sacred land is the land the way God intended it to be ~ a Garden of Eden". This statement is in keeping with some of the deeper teachings of Faery Seership which say that the Garden of Eden receded into the inner worlds as humanity moved forward into the surface world. This is the mystical legend of the exile of Adam and Eve, the primal parents of humanity, from Paradise...In Faery Seership, humanity was not exiled from Eden for eternity. Rather, the unconditional availability of Eden was traded for the gift of free will. The post-exile shift in human condition now requires us to seek, find, and claim our place in Eden as an act of choice. To do this humanity must also reclaim its responsibility and accountability as caretakers of the sacred garden of Eden. "
The Faery Teachings by Orion Foxwood. p112-113.

"To be truly radical is to make hope possible, rather than despair convincing."
Raymond Williams ~ http://www.darkoptimism.org/

http://www.astronomygcse.co.uk/

From moment to moment
I am waiting
for something to happen

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to wake up from this dream
and
live this life

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while I hear voices
stolen brutally
dare I breathe happiness
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must I dream to forget
or must I live
to remember

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and so I remember

every mother

gave birth to us all

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daring to live

this life

given

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silver Fox

5 Agreements

Be Impeccable with you word

Don't take anything personally

Don't make assumptions

Always do your best

Be sceptical, but learn to listen

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The Fifth Agreement: A Toltec Wisdom Book by Don Miguel Ruiz & Don Jose Ruiz

http://www.miguelruiz.com/