Monday, 20 February 2012

Be careful what you wish for ~

~ because you might just be lucky and find it!

On my last Healing Course training day, a fellow student asked the question, or maybe it was a statement ~ "If we do have previous lives, which we are karmically tied to, what is the point of us not remembering them?". This led to a brief discussion followed by another equally heated point that "we choose our parents". Sometimes I have wondered, if we have not lived more than once but we have memories of past lives; then it could be what Carl Jung described as the Collective Unconscious. When we remember past lives, it is not us we are remembering. We are remembering other's lives and in doing so are remembering how we are interconnected. In fact we are somehow tapping into this pool which is not restricted by time and space. It is if you like a living breathing entity where everything exists now. More than a collective memory. An ongoing co-creation. A recording all of our Spirits. Our Creativity. Our Mystery.

On the Shamanic Workshop which I wrote about recently with Patricia WhiteBuffalo. Patricia shared two interlinked teachings. that the Shamanic Realm is accessed via the Heart Chakra and that this Realm lives in the 4th Astral Realm. This Realm is where after dying the dead first pass into before moving on. It is not restricted by time and space. Other Realms, beings and entities exist there. And in this Realm every thought, feeling, action ~ everything/ energy is recorded with a constant link to those experiences in this realm and she referred to the Heart Chakra sometimes called the 'Rainbow Bridge'. The seat of unconditional love. It is a link between the physical and the spiritual parts of ourselves. Interestingly, this mirrors that of a Shaman, whose role is to be the link between the physical and the spiritual. I enjoyed how Patricia moved between the worlds of contemporary western healing model which has included ancient teachings of the Chakra's with the ancient Shamanic.

With trepidation much energy and enthusiasm I embarked on the Soul Retrieval Workshop - now a full seven days after, I am still experiencing reclaiming this part of my Soul and realize how narrow this head is in it's capacity to fully know, understand or predict experiences. And that is what is joyous and wonder full in life. We are constantly discovering and learning. There is so much new to experience. Which brings me back to the question of my fellow student. I think her question also was asking in forgetting our previous lives don't we loose the lessons we learnt? Surely we then have to start over all again? Well, I would suggest that the answer is yes and no. You see I've realised in the journey of the Soul the is answer often does not fit in the box of either/or, black/white. It is much more complex and rich. It includes all the colours of the rainbow. We return to our Heart.

When we reclaim part[s] of ourselves that were split off ~ following shock or trauma. We bring back all those parts of ourselves that were lost. Memories, feelings, senses and experiences learnt. To use an image from the Shaman I heard talk in St. James
( ) This process is a thawing of the heart. It is a painful process from numbness to feeling. We grow new hands that are not made of metal but are flesh and bone pumping with blood from the heart. Able to shape. To touch and be touched.

So what is reclaiming? That part which felt unsafe, abandoned, angry and terrified. That part that had unconsciously soaked up feelings and unclaimed fear from my parents. So much hurt, pain, shame and rage. But what is also imporatnt to remember is that along with the negative/challenging experiences we also reclaim other gifts. When I first saw that 8 year old she was so beautiful. So full of joy and exploration. A lightness and fun which I had forgotten. But she had been trapped in cage partly of her own making and partly made by others. The wild locked away safe from others, the environment. The same story on a loop of a wooden splinter driven deep into the flesh. Repeating the same feelings. Same emotions. Shrunk into a little tiny bird with a little voice, a high pitched song hiding a roar spitting black burning nails.

This child was and is incredibly resilient as are so many. And as pointed out to me today, the body not only can spit out thorns but puts a protection around such foreign entities. Isolating them. Limiting the infection and sometimes transmuting them so that they are digested and excreted out. So, there was a part of this child that chose to split off and escape. Hidden protected.

And so I was taken on the journey again. Physically re-enacting the past. My skin erupting around one small central point. Spiritual, Shamanic stuff really is real! There are no divisions between the Realms; between Mind, Body and Spirit. When we work on one layer of our body the others are linked - The Spiritual, Emotional, Mental, Etheric and Physical. And even more than this. Our internal experience is reflected in our external environment. And so it is not a surprise to me that I have had to fight to get out of my flat due to the door becoming too heavy resulting in the handle being torn off. That despite this dilemma I did in fact get into work only for the computer to crash. One more interesting event happened, which is also significant, was that my Altar had become infected by tiny beasties. On washing my reindeer skin I realized I had to remove it totally. It was infested. No longer was it a piece of leather but it was an animal skin being eaten. Nature was reclaiming. In life there is Death. This for me is a Shamanic way of experiencing being alive. Where all is inter-connected and if you are able to be still - you can sense the layers of teachings - of meanings.

So, though logic and our heads might not understand why most people don't remember their past lives there are I am sure very good reasons why. Sometimes we need that distance to protect ourselves from the pain. And when the time is right, when we are not weighted down by expectations or past assumptions, we have the energy and youthful unknowing, when we are in a safer place in our lives; then we can be more open to another perspective to truly learn and Heal. We have the capacity to grow. Expand. Find that space. To be alive. Reach for the Light. Be reminded in mid-winter that there are seeds waiting in the dark. We are able to reclaim and be more alive.

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